Saturday, August 29, 2009

Assignment done

Master set me the assignment to write an essay in acceptably girlish handwriting, and the first suggestion was that I describe "Why I'm proud to be a cheerleader". Thus, my assignment was to write an essay that looks and reads as if it could have been written by a teenaged cheerleader. At right is an image of the assignment completed. Master would encourage my visitors to offer critiques and grades, and even suggested punishments or rewards depending on your opinion of my finished work.

Arm bangles

One of the most effective ways Master has changed my movements are with arm bangles. I'm sure there's a more official name for them, but a "girl like me" couldn't understand such large words, so that's what I call them.

Arm bangles are not hard to make. Simply create a large circle with wire or some hard but malleable material. The circle should be wide enough so you can insert your clenched fist through them without touching the sides. Attach a bell, such as for a cat, to the bangle. Now you're done. (Master often has me make implements of my own submission so I remember how weak I am that I would make it easier for him to torment me.)

It works pretty simply...just put at least one bangle on each arm. The catch is that if I am caught grasping a bangle, I am severely punished. If the bangle falls to the floor -- and it will be obvious if it does, thanks to the bell, I get punished. All this means that I spend much of my time trying to keep them from falling off.

This sounds easy, but what if you drop something? Well, I have to crouch down like a girl, hold out one arm, and carefully lift the other with my wrist bent up to keep the bangle from falling off. If I'm folding laundry, I have to hold things chest high and again keep my wrists bent. Soon enough, you're moving with extra delicacy because of these things, because a bad tinkle means punishment is on the way...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

You'd think I'd learn

After the sweatshirt incident, you'd think I'd learn. So when Master tells me that I would be wearing a tie and collared shirt ("no tricks") I got overly excited when I should have been trying to figure out the catch. He asked me to choose between a green or yellow tie, or both....I thought I was being smart for asking for the less noticeable color of green.

At right is a close approximation of the outfit I spent the day in. The too-short tie, the leggings, the ridiculous hat, the lace sculpting on the top...I'd have felt more masculine in a baby tee than in this "shirt and tie combination".

Master is doing a brutal job making it clear that I can only pretend to be masculine, and even when I wear a man's sweatshirt or a tie and collar, I'm only pretending. Of course, to reinforce it, Master had me do a photo shoot engaging in all manner of "back to school photoshoot" activities...balancing a book on my head, writing "I will not chase the boys" on lines, facing the camera, holding an apple. Naturally, he also reinforced my ditzy side with photos of me reading a book upside down, receiving a "D" on a test, etc.

PS: On updates, I have learned the "Let's Get Crazy" dance (more on that later) and am working on my essay about why it's great to be a cheerleader. I'm out of a town for a few days, but the essay will be scanned on once I get back.

Monday, August 24, 2009


Although trends come and go, women rarely "grow out of" a particular kind of makeup. Lipstick ad eyeshadow are two that they'll wear for most, if not all of their life. There is one type of makeup, however, that tends to be a phase. It's a phase in which I'm in the middle, and it's the lip gloss phase. It's an intense phase...this photo is one girl's collection submitted to a lip gloss website.

There are probably a few reasons for this, and they have to do with what lip gloss does to your experience. First of all, it's addictive. Use lip gloss for two days, and your lips start to expect the moisture. They dry out in reaction. Soon enough, the only way to feel comfortable is to...use lip gloss. That's why girls like me are always refreshing it in our mirror...we need to. So the expectation that I refresh my lipgloss (using a compact of course) about every ten minutes is hard to forget, or resist.

The second reason is as Lil' Mama said it in her song:

My lip gloss is poppin'
My lip gloss is cool
All the boys keep jockin'
And they chase me after school
See, lip gloss makes your lips shiny and noticeable. Slick, and other words, the whole point of lip gloss is to make boys think "I'd like to kiss those lips". That's why Lip Smacker makes products called "color kiss duos". It's a way of saying you're available and looking. Mature "women" don't want to seem so needy, but girls like me don't mind. As a bonus, there's always glitter to make your desires clear, and Master thinks that my lips are adorable in a coat of glitter.

Finally, there's the flavors. In liquid Lip Smackers come in ten of them, everything from strawberry kiwi to pink lemonade. Master quickly ascertained that the flavors that had least appeal to me were bubble gum and cotton candy -- both pink things of course -- so that is all I'm allowed to buy. Cotton candy being my least favorite, Master has of course commanded that I wear cotton candy perfume at all times.

As I've learned, one other aspect of lip gloss is for branding. If a boy tells me he likes blueberry flavor, for example, I can coat my lips in blueberry, then wear the lipgloss on a chain around my neck, telling him that I've branded my lips for his enjoyment. It's not that far from an actual collar, and a humiliating experience.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Master is emphatic about "proper" handwriting as well. "Proper" handwriting for a girl "like me" has many facets, which generally mean that it takes a long time to do, and it almost unreadable as real communication. There are many aspects of it, but I'll give you a simple taste:

  • I's are dotted by circles, hearts if I am to be writing something about "love"
  • Large open loops in all letters
  • Cursive
  • Common words such as "to" and "for" are to be replaced by numbers
  • Use of Internet speak (lol, ttyl, etc.)
  • Any long word (usually 8 letters or more) must be misspelled
  • Lots of exclamation marks

I mention this because Master has decided that my latest assignment should be a solid page (or two) or girlish handwriting on a subject of my readers' choice. So I beg you to leave in the comments what should be the subject of my writing assignment. When I am done, it will be scanned in and posted on this blog. Some suggestions from Master:

  • A love note to a Twilight actor, or a putative crush in school
  • Lines repeating some essential thought ("I would die without my lip gloss")
  • A long rhyming poem about a girlish subject ("Nail polish is great")
  • An essay on an appropriately girlish opinion (why it's important to be cute)

I'll take anything else. Master will choose from any subjects left here, or possibly subject it to a vote.

Failed attempt

All of the following post is true.

Well I gathered some courage the other day to make my earlier post about being a "birthday girl" a reality. It was at best a partial success. What I did is visit two party stores in the area. At each of them, I asked a salesgirl for some help. I explained that I was helping a friend throw together a last-minute 13th birthday party for her younger sister, and I had been enlisted. Her family has a tradition of loading down the birthday girl with all manner of embarrassing items to call attention to her, and could she help me select some things that would be appropriate to such an age.

The lady at the first place simply didn't "get it" so I excused myself after a few minutes. In the second store however, I was certainly more helped. I walked out of there with a pink furry light-up tiara that reads "birthday princess" and matching light-up wand. A pink floral lei, "birthday girl" sash and pink and silver sunglasses. I happily paid for them. So far a success.

Here is the failure. On the way out, I handed the cashier a card in my best girlish handwriting that explained that I was unknowingly shopping for materials to pay off a bet, wherein I would be the center of my own 13th birthday party. As a thank you, an email address was written in the card inviting the store clerk to send a message requesting birthday pictures or even a visit from the "birthday girl". It was an admitted longshot but worth the attempt...and true to form, I have not received an email and doubt that I will. I shall always wonder the staff's reaction.

Regardless, it made for an interesting afternoon, and I do have pictures of my so dressed up, unwrapping some makeup and outfits, drinking punch fro ma Jonas Brothers paper cup, and blowing out the candles on a small pink frosted cupcake that had been pushed into my face off a Jonas Brothers plate. There was of course always potential for more fun, but it was decent for a solitary birthday...

Friday, August 14, 2009

Dancer girl

Well, YouTube has certainly made Master's life easier. His latest thing is to have me learn via tutorials on YouTube made by other girls on everything from smiling to makeup. You'd be amazed what's out there. Between eBay and YouTube, people are doing his work for him.

Anyway, as part of my training, Master likes to have me dance. Not just the kind of dance I like to do, the spontaneous, heartfelt, uplifting stuff, but the step-by-step choreographed stuff that "girls like me" enjoy to do -- nice, safe stuff. So he has decided that I need to learn a Hannah Montana dance, and you can decide which dance it is. I'm embedding three and tell me which I should have to learn. (PS: To my right is what I'll be wearing as I dance.)

Choice 1 - "Let's Get Crazy!"

Choice 2 - "Hoedown Throwdown"

Choice 3- "Let's Chill"

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I'd like to be: birthday girl

Sadly, real life has gotten in the way of my time with Master, but I thought I'd post another "girl I'd like to be".

I imagine it being my thirteenth birthday, and my friends are of course dedicated to embarrassing me as much as possible. So I'm dressed up in a light-up sash that reads "birthday girl", a light-up wand and a tiara over my usual clothing. A pink helium balloon is tied to my wrist. I'm sent to walk through the mall with them and endure everyone's stares as they take me to a shopping spree, then home toa birthday cupcake with pink frosting...

Friday, August 7, 2009

"Creative and appropriate" restrictions

I have mentioned in previous posts that Master often finds a need to enhance my focus by restricting my movements, but I should expand a little more on that. Master will occasionally simply chain my legs to a desk or tie my hands behind my back, but he usually does what he calls "creative and appropriate" restrictions since such situations don't "fit" with how I'm being trained to act. This is more subtle and insidious, and I'll give a couple examples below.

A few weeks ago, I was doing some lines that I'd been assigned when Master asked where my purse was. Concentrating on the torturous process of achieving the curvy, spare girlish handwriting that he demands, I responded with a somewhat flippant "I dunno...maybe in the other room." Master believes that my purse should always be within reach wherever I am, even if I have to tuck it over my shoulder to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As he says, a girl like me always needs her cell and makeup within reach.

So my lines were interrupted by some "creative and appropriate bondage" to teach me respect and proper priorities. Master tied two strings of high tensile fishing wire to my thumbs. I was told to hold my purse by its strap by both hands in front of my waist, after which he wove the fishing line around the strap and my fingers before tying it off. When he was done, I was unable to let go of my purse, but the fishing line was so thin that it looked as if I were just sweetly standing there, holding my purse in front of me with two hands. I spent two hours like that, unable to separate my arms or put my purse down...I learned my lesson.

In another example, I've come to own a pink, heart-shaped pillow with a plastic sleeve for a photo. Sometimes when preparing for sleep, a line of fishing wire is threaded through the pillow. A photo of my current celebrity crush is inserted to the sleeve, I hug the pillow to my chest, and the line is tied off on my wrists and upper arms, leaving me unable to stop hugging the photo to my chest as I sleep.

Master often mentions how this method of bondage doesn't just restrict my movement but reinforces proper behavior. As a bonus, he likes to point out that it is rather subtle, and the fishing line is not readily apparent. If I had my hands tied around, say, shopping bags and were dropped off at the mall, it would seem as if I were happily and voluntarily dressed like "the girl I really am" and ready for a day of shopping, even though I was actually tied up in front of everyone.

Master is also considering this approach for Halloween. If I am instructed to go with a costume, he talks about "tying me into" a prop that goes with it, leaving my utterly vulnerable. So for instance with the costume to the right, a pink pitchfork would have two holes bored through for fishing line. The line would be tied around my fingers, leaving unable to let go of the pitchfork...and helpless while on display.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

What I need to know

A busy week this week, but in response to some emails I figured I'd just tell you a taste of what I'm supposed to have in my head at all times....this is the current "crush chart", details of which I am expected to regurgitate upon demand. All these boys I am supposed to be thinking and talking about. It's fictional, just an exercise in training my brain the right way, but Master is very serious about it. A similar chart exists for girls, and it's disturbing how much mental power it's taking up to keep all this straight, the way that "girls like me" naturally do...

NameCutest featurePopularityCurrent gfChance with himHistory
Austineyesa lotKylee, but they're fightingPretty goodDated for a month
Kevinmusclesa lotJaynanot muchMade out on a dare
Aaroneverything!maxChloe & Kaitlynlow :(I wish!
FelipeeyessomeNeveahEasyHis older sis paid me to date him for a month
Nicklegsa lotLilianIf I flirt hard enoughPicked him for spin the bottle last month!

Sometimes I'm asked a casual question. Occasionally I take a quick 7-question quiz. Unlike skool where any grade above 80% is punishable, I am lucky to "get away with" missing one question...

Monday, August 3, 2009


Master in considering making me vegetarian. He says that girls like me don't like meat, and anyway feel bad about killing cut "aminals" such as cows and chickens. Plus, meat just makes me fat.

Master has taken to describing how much fun it would be to sit me down somewhere in front of a salad and have to watch him enjoy a steak...and have to refuse if he offered me any. Or to take me to McDonald's and have me order a salad.

Speaking of fast food, one thing Master keeps saying is how funny it would be to dress me up as the "real me" and send me into Burger King after one of their cardboard crowns. When he talks like that for too long, it usually ends up happening...