Thursday, September 24, 2009

Game Day

Well, as we come up another Sunday, I thought I'd share with you the experience of watching football in the presence of Master. Last week was my first time and I was frankly surprised that he informed me that we'd be watching the game ... I'd figured he'd merely send me off to watch Twilight for the seventeenth time. To prepare for the game, he made sure that I would be properly dressed. We're both New Englanders and are consequently big Patriot fans. Master was in a comfortable t-shirt and jeans, but not me.

For me, my usual football wear is a pink Tom Brady jersey that shows off my lil boobs and a white skirt...with pink and white accessories to match. Master took it upon himself to make my fandom more emphatic by taping my hands around the handles of some pink and white pompoms he'd had me buy. Thus any movement was classical cheerleader rahrah, and as a bonus I was essentially tied up.

We watched the pregame show, him chomping on nachos and me chomping on gum. Then they broke for the commercial right before the kick-off, and Master turned the sound down, and faced me.

He said to me "Ashlee, you're doing an adorable job trying really hard to pretend that you know what's going on. But we both know girls like you don't understand football, and it's probably really hurting your little brain to try. So I'm going to make life easier for you..."

With that, he produced a pair of drugstore eyeglasses -- women's naturally -- which he carefully placed on my head. My vision became not quite but almost useless, and of course I couldn't remove the glasses with Master right there, and my hands uselessly clinging to my pompoms. I could still see very blurry forms on the tv, but had to rely on the audio to understand. I felt ridiculous sitting there with my pompoms, moaning or cheering long after Master knew what had happened, as I relied on the commentators to relay information. I would perch there in my little skirt holding my pom-poms, brow furiously wrinkled, trying to follow the game.

I was screwed either way -- I could stay there looking and acting like a ditzy airhead unable to understand football, or I could flounce away...looking and acting like a ditzy airhead giving up on understanding football.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Bedtime

I got a couple emails wondering what bedtime was like for me on the rare occasion I can sleep at Master's. Here's the deal...

First thing is getting ready for bed. I change into my nightclothes...usually just an extra large t-shirt with Edward from Twilight on it. Next is brushing my teeth with bubble-gum scented kids' perfume. Seems half of what I do is either bubble gum or cotton candy. I wash off my makeup and brush my hair (wig) at least 50 times...counting out loud of course.

Mind you, I'm still in bra...Master insists upon it.

Hair done, I enter the bedroom. Depending on how good I was in the day, many things can happen. This is where the spankings happen, for instance. Up to ten painful, humiliating swats. As I have to count out loud and thank him for every hit.

Either way, Master likes to have me get on my knees and pray out loud for five minutes at least, for all the things a girl like me should be thankful for. He likes to hear me thank God for him making me the best cutest girl I can be. Then I kiss all my posters goodnight...."goodnight, Edward"....thanks for that one!

Then it's to bed. Master insists I sleep with a sleep mask on, and with my bra and boobies still in so I get used to the weight on my chest. This means I sleep on my back. The music or messages for the night come on, and the pink sheets and bed canopy are drawn up around me. I don't normally sleep on my back so sleep comes slow.

Master and I have a compromise...he'd like me to be completely bound to bed, but there are safety issues. So what happens is that my wrists are tied to the bedposts with lightweight string. Enough that if I were to jerk on them, they'd snap. Of course, Master would know this and there would be severe punishment for leaving bed without good reason or permission (and no the bathroom doesn't count). I could even lose our time together.

Another favorite is to run a needle through a heart shaped pillow, a teddy bear, or some girlish thing...then tie it to my arms so I have no choice but to hug it as I sleep.

So there is an "emergency exit" but that's it. I toss and turn, unable to see...to cancel out the messages over the stereo, to get the sweet bubble gum taste and scent away. It's a wonder my dreams aren't more girlish...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Help

I need your help. At right is one of the two costumes I'll be wearing Halloween -- a clown costume designed for a woman. There's a lot that's right with it. Clowns are objects of laughter to begin with, and this delightful red ruffle, shiny fabric, bright colors, the bib that goes right over the chest, and a silly little hat that rests on (not over) the head, held up by a headband. Naturally it comes with a red clown nose. All very good.

I plan on wearing some extras...maybe pink hearts painted on my cheeks and matching pink tights. Nevertheless, my concern is that the outfit is not feminine enough. It's girlish, but if it's a "girl clown" the emphasis is on clown, rather than girl.

So I'm asking for ideas. I was planning on dying the fabric pink, but this is polyester, so I don't think that would work. I could attach pink ribbon on some places, or perhaps go to town with pink glitter fabric paint. I really don't know how to make this clown costume more girlish and I really would appreciate your ideas.

On the other hand, I could just go for pink hair, tights, shoes, and sleeves, and leave the costume as is...

My other costume choice will be revealed later on.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sublinable

Text-to-speech. Let's face it, the programs such as ReadPlease don't sound vaguely human, with their oft-hilarious pronunciation. But they can prove useful.

I was wondering about the succession of essays Master had me write over the last few weeks...even more than usual for him. Titles of recent writings have included:
"Why I love wearing cute skirts"
"Why I must wear nail polish every day"
"Why I would die for cotton candy perfume"
"How to flirt with a cute boy"

It was especially strange that after writing them, I had to type them in. Figured it was just practice using my long nails. It wasn't just hours of drudgery it turns out. Last night, Master was putting me to bed. (What that consists of is in an upcoming post). However, I was at last in place, having kissed my posters goodnight -- thanks for that one -- and safe-n-secure in my bed. Then it happened.

Instead of simply leaving, Master brought in my laptop, loading something from a thumb drive, fiddling, and then leaving. And as he did I began to hear my essay in a rough computer voice. But I'm lying there, unable to turn it off, and I'm hearing all about my I love wearing cute skirts.

Well, of course, the program ran all night...I woke up to hearing why girls are no good at math. All night long these words had worked into my brain...who knows where they ended up.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Assignments?

Is it too much to hope that a loyal reader or 3 might give me an assignment in keeping with my little fantasy life here? You may require photographic proof if need be.

Nothing too crazy ("wear sheer white clothing, dark pink bra and panty, and go into a sex shop buying a dildo"). Something I'd actually be able, willing to do. Let's push the limits...

Puzzle girl

So I'm not much for puzzles. They strike me as boring and difficult, and that's when I'm not tied to a chair, and trying to complete them with long nails.

Yep, that's right...one of Master's more favorite things to do is to sit me down with a 500-piece custom puzzle. He's upped his rates lately, and this allows him to buy these custom puzzles of letters I've had to write or stars I supposedly adore. I don't get an example to work from naturally, so I end up just doing as well as I can.

Don't worry, he plays that subliminal crap to help pass the time.

Balloons

A girl "like me", as Master likes to point, still has a less mature side, and he makes sure that I indulge that all the time. Sure, I'm constantly checking my makeup, tugging at the hem of my skirt that's always too short, but I'm not grown up yet. And I get constant reminders of that.

For instance, girls like me love balloons. In reality, I despise them, so Master makes sure that I spend a lot of time dealing with balloons. I'll often be given one for any special occasion...lots of good luck Mylar balloons for example, or just regular helium ones "just because" -- pink and white usually.

Master will then smilingly tie them to my wrist, where my long nails make it nearly impossible to untie them, or even my ponytails. Do you have any idea what a pain it is to try to cook dinner with a pink balloon constantly bobbing up into your face, or in your way? As always, I am punished if I show any annoyance. Instead, under Master's eye, I can only giggle and push it out of the way.

Because girls like me looove balloons. You can tell by the squeal I make each time he brings one home.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Decorated

Well, following instructions from the latest poll, my room now has three Twilight posters up around the walls. This Edward guy is really creepy in the posters, and I'm not really looking forward to seeing them all the time...thank goodness they don't glow in the dark.

Master told me that since I would be kissing them goodnight every night, I should become accustomed to their placement. I spent the next hour being blindfolded and spun around, then having to guess where the actor's lips were on the poster. Some severe spankings later, I'd gotten a good idea of their approximate place.

Now, before I slip on my sleepmask and try to make me bra tolerable for the night's sleep, I'll be smooching these posters. Thanks, everyone.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Narrowed down

Well, with obsessive websurfing and consideration, I'm starting to narrow down my costume. My considerations were to find a costume that was girlish and what I call insignificant. "Insignificant" not in terms of the fabric used, but rather in the message it sends that I'm just a silly little girl, not important. There are women's costumes (such as SuperGirl) that are paragons of strength and power. That's not for me.

Other bonuses were props I'd have to carry, as well as involving my hair or face. The idea of there being part of my costume that I can't see makes me feel even more vulnerable...not sure why.

The greatest check on my choices is that, well, I've gained a bit of weight over the last year. I'm going to shed several pounds between now and then, but my options are limited. Thus, as much as I like Lindsay-Marissa's ideas of a fairy princess costume on offer, I simply couldn't do it justice. All things considered, then, here are the final options.

I welcome your comments, and will narrow it down to the top 3 by the end of the week. In no particular order...


  • Pink devil. Pros: cute. A pink devil hits the "don't take me seriously" vibe a girl's costume should have. Looks feminine. Tails and pitchfork fun to play with. Cons: Perhaps too emphatically strong for a girl like me, tough to find just the right type of pink devil costume.
  • Rainbow Brite. Pros: Feminine, arm sleeves a plus. Lots of colors. I get to carry a wand. Cons: arguably more gay than feminine, and the cartoon is very old. Doesn't play as easily into a personality.
  • All-star baseball player. Pros: Pink, ridiculous, a dress. Wearing a pink glove just makes it more ridiculous, not to mention the bubble gum. Cons: A little tomboyish for my taste. Dress could be a little tight.
  • Minnie Mouse. Pros: Girlish though not pink, definitely feminine. It's a classic, and updated to be a little flirtier. Cons: A little shopworn
  • "Ex-spelled". Pros: A great combo of witch and schoolgirl. It's pink and flirty. Cons: It may be a little tight on me. I'd have to do some alterations.
  • Honeybee. Pros: cute, feminine. Many costumes have a flouncy little skirt, and I'd feel ridiculous wearing little bee wings and antennae on my head. The yellow is noticeable. Sunflowers could make for a nice prop. I could accessorize easily enough. Cons: Not hugely feminine (no pink), and the stripes make me look fat.
  • Witchy LaBouf. Pros: Pink and flirty. Nice tulle skirt, and the ribbons would feel ridiculous. Cons: Also perhaps a little tight, and the whole witch thing might be a little predictable.
  • Goldilocks. Pros: Feminine, frothy with a cute yellow pinafore. Girlish -- would make sense to literally skip around. Cons: No headgear, kind of a repeat of last year's fairy tale costume.
I may be over the top with the planning on this one, but Halloween is such a rare and wonderful opportunity to be myself. I want to express my girlish side as truly as possible.

Truth be told, I have on favorite...but what say you?

Monday, September 7, 2009

Initiation time


As students file back to school in early September, for many "girls like me" part of life is the initiation! Due to being a freshman, a rookie, a transfer, or whatever reason, it's time to go through the humiliation of being bossed around by older girls.

It starts in the morning...you report to a certain place. Someone's home. The first step is to put a ridiculous costume on you. Vivid tights, a tutu, a tiara -- whatever will attract unwelcome attention and ridicule from everyone else. You're marked as belonging to the squad, class, whichever.

Garish makeup is probably applied to make the effect worse, especially since you can't see what they're doing to you. Your hair messed up as well.

A sign isn't out of the question. It might declare loyalty to an upperclassman, or invite people to help humiliate you. You'll be paraded around public places, made to sing songs or do the teapot dance. The upperclassmen will laugh as people going about their everyday lives stop and stare. At school, the cell phones come out as your humiliation is recorded in photo and video form. Laughing upperclassmen watch as you're paraded around, perform at lunch, ask boys to marry you, and all manner of horrid trials. Of course, you're supposed to smile through the whole thing to be a "good sport".

All this so you can do it again to a poor girl in a couple years. So you can belong to a clique that will turn on you in a second. So you have a label. A girl like you and me wouldn't have it any other way.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Self-critiquing

As I mentioned in a couple earlier posts, I've mastered the dance to "Let's Go Crazy" by Hannah Montana. Consequently, I was recently asked to perform it for Master. I got dressed up in my dance outfit (the shirt mentioned in the earlier post, matching red shorts that read "Dancer" on the rear, a little hat, and jewelry galore) to perform it. I felt I did pretty well. I was asked all sorts of questions -- was I flirty enough? Cute enough? Rhythmic enough?

Well, Master had me go out of the room for a few minutes to refresh my makeup. When I returned, I was told to sit in an armchair in the living room. Master cuffed my ankles and wrists down and did something dirty -- he turned out the videotape of me doing the dance. For the next twenty minutes I had the humiliation of dissecting my own girly dance, defending my claim that I was a flirty, rhythmic girl. He'd play a section, and ask me what I felt I did right and wrong. For twenty long minutes I watched myself dressed up, flailing about in a completely girlish routine. Naturally, when done, Master informed me that I could do a lot better, and I had better get used to seeing myself on tv...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

More how-to videos

Well, Master has discovered the power of YouTube as a teaching tool in the wake of last week's dance routines. What he has done now is to track down ironic "instructional videos" on how to be girly or "preppy" and have me watch them, and memorize the lessons. The makers of these videos are using stereotypes, and he wants me to fulfill them. Here's a couple as a sample...





As you can see, it's the spaciest, shallowest type of image possible...just what Master wants from me.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tis the season

In my world, September 1st means among other things that beginning of Halloween season. Let's face it, I'm fairly obsessed with the day. And the opening salvo is having to consider what costume to buy or make, and how to spend the day. Considering that this year H-ween falls on a Saturday, the options are even greater than usual.

My plan is to spend the day in 1 or 2 costumes befitting a teenaged girl, and enter into public situations. Last year was a thrill, and I'm hoping for more this year.

I would love plenty of ideas, suggestions, and advice. Though there are a few costumes that appeal to me especially, I would start by throwing it open -- what type of costume would you suggest I make, create, or find? Some tips:

Just dressing "like a girl" doesn't cut it. I want to dress in a costume a teenaged girl would dress up in. Go here for an idea of what I'm talking about.

What interests me the most is a costume that makes it impossible to take the wearer seriously. There are two ways to that -- either a costume whose identity is inherently laughable (such as Strawberry Shortcake last year) or a costume executed in a such a girlish ridiculous way, like this "baseball" costume in pink with a tiny skirt.

Sadly, a costume that doesn't show off too much...I'm losing weight, but I'm no Slim Jim (or Jane).

I may have a gallery of options up soon, but for now I'm happy to leave it open....ideas?

As for activities, I think the list is severely curtailed by a lack of a partner in crime. Let's face it...someone my age trick-or-treating in an above-mentioned costume is just creepy. I think the ideal experience might be similar to what this girl endured on her birthday...being dressed up, paraded around, and kissed by people encouraged by her friends...all while blindfolded. I wish.