Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Lookin for...

I only found 7 in the 5 minutes Master gave me. How many did you find out of the total of 10?

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Salvation for Shopping

Master brings me at least once a month to one of the largish Salvation Army thrift stores in the area. It isn't just that the place is cheap (it is), but also has for sale things that aren't often for sale to the public. Let me explain.

Girls "like me" often end up with clothing that isn't bought off a rack. Most prominently, exorbitant registration fees for cheer competitions or dance recitals come with it a shirt. The shirt is often bursting with cheer pride on the front, and on the back lists all "cast members" or "competing squads". For the girls, they last but a short while before becoming too old and sometimes ending up at the Salvation Army...and on me. I often prowl the t-shirt section, looking for shirts that fit that description.

Finds can be several I own a hot pink shirt with a bursting "Cheer-o-meter" on the front, and a yellow slogan on the back: "Cheer fever, I got it bad!" A regular one that Master loves to have me wear is for a local all-girls high school. Even in male clothing, I often walk around in this grey shirt with the school's name on it, and mascot name along the sleeve. I frequently wonder: what to people make of it...of the very few who may recognize the shirt's provenance, do they think me a proud brother, or a shameless submissive?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Costuming adventures

Had some adventures recently. As a "domless" sub, I usually don't often get the chance for the public humiliation I seek. I often spend times trying to engineer something, but frankly most people are too nice to take advantage of opportunities to mock a man dressed in girl's clothing...especially when it's a largish man such as me.

In fact, of the 30 or so strangers who've seen me en femme, several said they were "too nice" to mock or humiliate me, and one even suggested I was performing some sort of research. This is the story of an exception.

I love Halloween, not just for the guilt- and suspicion-free opportunities to dress as a teenage girl (my favorite identity) but equally for the silly, frilly costumes available. So this past week, I walked into a local party store. It was quiet, and I lucked out in finding a clerk who had been there several years, I late learned. So when I told her I was there to try on women's Halloween costumes as part of a scavenger hunt, she didn't even bat an eye.

Her Good Samaritan instincts kicked in, when she suggested that there were many demure costumes available that shouldn't be so bad. When I riposted that they had to be "flirty"...and that she had to pick them, she easily acquiesced. The routine had been established...I would have to put them on in the bathroom, including any accessories. I would track her down in the store, where she would take a photo of me in a camera I brought for proof of the scavenger hunt. (I should have specified in a girlish pose akin to the model on the cover, but that would been a bit much.)

In past experience, people either well-intentioned or nervous would shift off most of this. They'd have me pick the costumes (boo!) or tell me to take my own photos. This is meant to save their own discomfort, as well as my own humiliation. Of course, that humiliation is what I want! save a couple thousand words, here are the pictures of me in the store, wearing the costumes she picked out for me...

Monday, September 20, 2010

How did this happen?

On the right, my first self-pic ever on this blog...trying on a Halloween costume in public. I didn't pick the costume, or the pose, or take the photo. A better shot of the costume, without my gut, is on the left. How'd I manage that? I'll tell you down the road, a tip for something you may want to try on your own for similar public thrills...

This just in

On the question of the IQ of your femme side, almost all of you (84%) want to have the IQ of a cheerleader, able to read most of this blog aside from the "big words". I have one average woman who understand almost all of it, a couple above average women who understand my most arcane vocabulary, and a Nobel Laureate who can backwards engineer my writing and probably find my house.

Thanks for voting, everyone!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Sticky key

Earlier on, I'd have rebelled at Master's latest task. Go to Maria Rose's Nail Salon for a 2:30 appointment under the name Kevin, and lock my keys in the car. But at this point, refusing Master seems like refusing gravity, so I merely blanched and did what I was told. Per his instructions, I was dressed in a simple t-shirt, sandals, and gym shorts without pockets.

I was nervous enough pulling into the lot, as I've little experience in public on my own. Maria Rose's was sandwiched in between a Radio Shack and supermarket, in a behemoth strip mall. The lot was busy with shoppers taking advantage of the break in the heat, enjoying a sunlit summer's day.

Maria Rose's was largely empty as I checked in, thus I had the full attention of a rather bemused receptionist. Jacqui was called to be my "aesthetician", and a young adult about my age sat me down, her face covered by a mask. Jacqui started with a standard male manicure, working the cuticles and buffing the nails. Soon, however, she took out what she informed me was a bottle of "Fishnet", a flaming red-orange from Hard Candy. Her expert hands brushed on one, then two opaque colors of this flaming neon pink.

As one might expect, talk quickly turned toward why I was here. Having grown to use the "lost a bet" issue sparingly, I explained that it was a scavenger hunt for college. Barely a better lie, but one that doesn't set off bullshit meters the way the "lost a bet" one does. After twenty excruciating minutes during which I gained the attention of a bemused mother with her little girl -- who had lots of questions -- my appointment was ending.

Naturally, I hadn't forgotten that I was locked out of my car. I wasn't sure what would happen, but I was reasonably confident something would...Master wouldn't strand me seven miles away from home. Sure enough, with my change came a small envelope that Master had apparently dropped off a couple days ago.

I got outside, looked around for pedestrians, and subtly as I could opened the envelope. There was my key all right...wrapped in layer upon layer of packing tape. So I'm here with long, flame-color nails in a daylit parking lot, trying to unwrap this key so I can re-enter my vehicle. Seeing little choice, I moved out to be car and began working on it. It was a long, half-hour process, constantly paranoid of people seeing what I was up to, their attention caught by my shining nails. I dropped the key a few times, which didn't help. When somebody would come up, I tried to find something to do, but there are few things less suspicious then a person with no evident purpose, trying to hide what's in -- or on -- his hands.

After quite some time struggling, picking, yanking, peeling, and unsticking, my spare key was finally free. I fit it in the door, got in the car and drove away, thinking back...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Girl I'd like to be

I love this series on Webshots...I wish this would happen to me at a cd club with some "friends". I'm going to include the captions of the photos...go to the site to see them for yourselves...

The girls kidnapped me from the apartment...blindfolded me...took my normal clothes off...gave me a new outfit...I have no idea what I am wearing...

(The new outfit is some ridiculous clothing, capped by a tee-shirt that reads "Kiss me, I'm the birthday girl")

But the best are the two following photos: "OMG someone just kissed me!" and "There's another one! (remember, I have no idea what my shirt says)" The idea of one's friends digging up boys to kiss me while I'm blindfolded and don't expect it coming. Wouldn't it be nice to have friends like that in real life?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

FAQ: Best Halloween Ever

Q: So that was entirely fiction, right?
A: Pretty much. I did hit two houses trick or treating a couple years ago and found it utterly humiliating. I"d love to do more, but I don't have the ...motivation.

Q: So was this a fantasy, then?
A: My complete Halloween fantasy. But not a "only in the dream" fantasy, but an accounting fulled with things I'd genuinely love to do/have done to me this Halloween.

Q: Every little bit of it?
A: Well, the tea party hostess costume isn't my top choice, but other than that I'd be game for any of it...

Q: What about adding..this or that idea...
A: There's more that I could have added, but to be honest I ran out of energy, and didn't want to turn the story into an Air Force One where one escapade just follows another and another until they blur together into a heap of boringness. May as well stop when it feel like a good place.

Q: Wait, I'm sorry, I gotta go back here. You'd actually be willing to do this?
A: I would. Being tied into a costume before I even knew what it was is such a hot idea for me. Debuting it to myself as well as others makes me tingle.

Q: So what are your plans right now for Halloween?
A: The thing I'm thinking right now is maybe carrying my costume into the nearest large city, then changing into it, throwing out what I'm wearing, and having nothing but a commuter rail ticket to get me back to my car. Quite a ride that would be!

Q: I don't believe you.
A: Try me. Seriously, email me and we'll see...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Best Halloween Ever, Part V

"Baby Ruth"

That was my answer...and my favorite candy bar...a Baby Ruth. David nodded, and suggested we get out of here. I nodded and smiled. Clearly, the day was about over, and David was getting tired of the whole thing. We'd stop by the grocery store, buy a Baby Ruth, and he'd take me back to my car, wherever it was. A cute souvenir.

Thus I was a little surprised when we drove into an industrial park, and pulled over. I was very surprised when David blindfolded me and told me to put my hands in my lap. A small band of plastic was put through my hands, and as before my fingers were tied to it. But this time, I knew exactly what I was grasping.

A plastic bucket for trick or treating. I was going to be getting my Baby Ruth the old fashioned way. I'd be walking through...somewhere...demurely holding my trick or treat pumpkin in both hands.

Sure enough, a bit of a drive later we stopped somewhere and I received my rather simple instructions. The blindfold was taken off, and we were in a development...somewhere. Who even knew where. I would be walking through, trick-or-treating, until I got a Baby Ruth at a home (why couldn't I have said Snickers?!?) David pointed out the seven houses on the street lit up.

"What if I don't get a Baby Ruth from any of them?"

"We'll see. But here's what you are to do. I'll be waiting in the car with the window down. Each house you will go up to you will ring the doorbell, and say 'trick or treat'. If you don't say that any house, I drive off. Understand?"

"Yes, David."

"Be a good girl and thank them for whatever they give you. Now, off you go."

And so I got out of the car. A breeze cooling my skin, I nervously walked up the front walk of the first house, a rather nice one. I clumsily rang the doorbell, and a middle-aged man, not pleased with what he saw, walked up. I couldn't find any way out. I simply said "trick or treat!", a slight tremble in my voice. The man grunted, and without looking grabbed something from the basket and threw it in my proffered bucket. I said a weak "thank you" to his back.

I walked down the walk, my skittles rattling in the bucket. The house two doors down had a bemused mother who said (for the nth time today) "Nice costume" as she put a Snickers bar into the bucket. The third gave me an apple.

Finally, at the end of the road, I walked up to a more modest home. At the door was a high-school aged girl, probably getting ready to go out on her own. I didn't even have to ring the doorbell when she was already laughing. A weak smile on my face, I merely held up the bucket and said "Trick or Treat". And lo and behold, she held up a Baby Ruth!

But before she dropped it in my bucket, as if she knew, she decided to have some fun with me. "Trick or Treat, huh? What kind of 'trick' will you do if you don't get any candy?"

That was a good question. I was stumped. "Uh, I don't--"

"Steal my boyfriend maybe? Write on my car in lipstick?"

"Well, uh--"

She laughed again. "Just kidding. It takes guts to dress like that. Here you go babycakes."

Jackpot! I hurriedly walked down the walk, and there was David's car at the end of the street. My heart racing, I walked past several houses and two bewildered groups of kids. Relieved, I dropped into David's car and waited for him to inspect. Yes, I had my Baby Ruth. Time to go home. Like a good girl, I clutched my bucket during the drive back to the McDonald's where it all started.

"You know, I was going to make you skip around if you didn't find a Baby Ruth."

"Oh, I didn't..."

"I was also thinking of dropping you off at a college party, maybe a gay club. Maybe next year."

Yes, there's always next year. But for now...this was the Best Halloween Ever!!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Best Halloween ever, Part IV

(This next part owes much of its content to a similar story named Working for Halloween. When done here, check it out...)

"There she is! Our poor bet loser!" Those were the big words of a big man as I walked through the largely empty store. My heart plunged with what he held in his hands...a large sign with the store's name on it.

I would be drumming up -- perhaps I should say serving up -- business.

"Well, I don't know if this is going to get me any business, but people are sure going to look!" He said. Smiling and nodding, I went through a quick tutorial from Ron, the manager, about how I was to act. Smile all the time. Wave. Allow people to take photos. The hour will fly by.

The hour? An hour, dressed like this, holding a sign, smilingly waving to drivers on a busy highway? Then again, I had no alternative. So did I become an...eye-catching advertisement for one of those instant-Halloween stores, dumbly waving and smiling from the side of a divided highway.

So I smiled, and clutching the sign, walked over the sidewalk, and did my duty. And boy was I photographed. An older man told me I was a disgrace. I heard whooping from some teenaged girls. Saw many a cell phone camera. People yelled on the way into the supermarket, and on the way out. One guy actually walked over and started made as if to put his arm around me. Skaters crossed the street to avoid having to walk past me. I have no idea where David was. I knew I was trapped there, without a watch. As with anything else in life, after a while one gets comfortable. I started to enjoy myself. The hour actually flew by. With a relieved smile, I handed back the sign to the manager, and climbed pack in David's car. I was getting comfortable, and it had been a heck of an afternoon.

When David stopped outside a Subway, I realized that I was starving, having had no food at all throughout the day. My stomach exploded at the smell of the bag he brought out...which contained a small veggie for me. Worse still, I had to "earn" my meal in the most humiliating meal of my life. A baby bib was tucked into my bust ("to protect my outfit") and to earn each bite, I had to say something first. For instance, "I'm a total princess" would earn me a bite. "I'm like so boy crazy" another one. It was like a soundtrack to any girl wearing this outfit. And the bib just made me feel more helpless.

We finish the meal as the night began to fall, I got a question I would come to regret...

David asked "What's your favorite candy bar?"

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Best Halloween ever, Part III

I was seating, ever so uncomfortably...ever so helplessly, in a strange man's car. I was dressed as a boy-hungry teenager's idea of a tea party hostess on Halloween morning, and we were driving along a highway. And what was I doing? Checking my make-up in the mirror. And that's what I remained doing when shortly after we turned on to the highway, we turned off into a mini-mall.

David pointed at one of the mainstays of any stripmall, the nail salon. He said "they're waiting for you. Your name is Haley. Oh, and you'll want this..." fishing out of a bag came a gold sparkling purse that matched my outfit. Apparently, with nothing left to say, I got out of the car. I walked toward the nail salon, but was very aware of the sound of David's car pulling out. Clutching the purse in one hand, I opened the door to "Angel's Nail Salon", my hand trembling slightly.

Apparently my entrance was well expected, as the lady behind the counter looked at her watch, me, and smiled. "You must be Haley. Have a seat...just a moment." With that, I sat in the waiting area, alternating between looking down and confronting the looks of the rather bemused women. "Halloween, huh?" "Nice costume", I heard for the umpteenth time.

The amusement was not shared by a scowling lady evidently not thrilled with her assignment. To my total lack of surprise, a bottle of teal polish that matched my dress was ready to go, and an exceedingly awkward twenty minutes followed of having my nails cleaned and polished by a woman clearly unhappy to have me there. Like any good American, I responded by leaving an overly large tip. One customer did not share her dislike, going so far as to ask what I was wearing underneath the dress. "That's only for me to know" I responded, very aware that I was perched on a chair, nails under a dryer. The thought occurred to her, too, as she mischievously eyed my hem, before winking and leaving.

Handing over my tip with my freshly painted nails, I was embarrassed to hear a round of applause as I left. Of course, that was nothing compared to my helpless feeling until I finally saw David standing on the other side of the lot, in front of one of the instant Halloween stores. He waved me over. Used to having no choice, I self-consciously held down my hem as I walked over. David, grinning, merely pointed inside "Halloween Warehouse." I raised my eyebrows, and he nodded.

I didn't need anything else, from what I could tell. I was already in costume, and gaining more and more confidence. What did I need from them?

Turns out they needed something from me. Wanna guess what it was

Best Halloween ever, Part II

Staring back at me was a debauched, desperately flirtateous take on a tea party hostess, glistening in shiny teal and gold fabric. Slick pink lips and teal eye shadow marked my face, while a tight dress with an alarmingly short hem adorned me, stopping well above the white knee-high stockings. A pert black bow fronted my cleavage, which was made up of icily cold water balloons teasing my nipples. A ludicrous tea-shaped hat perched on my head. Most embarrassingly, my hands were tied onto each handle of a small silver serving tray with a tea kettle apparently superglued to it. I was a flirty tea party hostess, with lips ready to kiss.

And I had twenty minutes to get about half a mile to the Burger King down the road. In broad daylight, right around noon. The twenty minutes helped, as the luxury of fear and trepidation wasn't mine to have. Instead, I scuffed out on my heels and right into a situation. The laughter behind the counter was expected and I'd have ordinarily rushed right by, except for one problem: it was a pull door. And my hands were occupied by my little tray. So there I was demurely looking at the floor as a college girl and her friends burst out laughing on the other side of the door, before opening it. Smiling weakly at her jibe of "nice costume", I walked through the door in a rather unladylike manner and hurried out.

The walk was heartbeat slowed, and soon I became comfortable with my situation. The helplessness was real though. Helpless about the usually unintelligible remarks shouted from the cars. Helpless about my humiliatingly proper tea set I couldn't let go of. Helpless about my short-hemmed dress. Helpless at lights when I couldn't cross, and was on display for the honking hordes (and at least one cell phone camera that I could see.) My swinging hips in these heels, only emphasized by the green shine of my skirt.

I finally spied David in front of the Burger King and minced over. David, smiling got in the car, and gallantly opened the passenger's side door. I rather ungallantly got in, panting slightly. "Well, you said this is what you want. Are you happy?"

I had to answer faithfully "I am on such a rush right now it's unbelievable..."

"Well, that's a good start. Here --" and with that, David untied my hands from the tray, throwing it in the backseat. "Next stop..."

What is wrong with my outfit? Where does one go to correct it? That's next!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Best Halloween ever, Part I

The following is a fictional account...but anyone who wants to make it true, please email me (address in the right column.)

My Halloween started early this year. Early for me, that is. Eleven am on a Sunday and I'm standing in a McDonald's waiting to meet "David", my correspondent over the past few weeks. I was nervous of course; first to be embarking on such an adventure, but also nervous that my dreams would be dashed. Many times I'd awaited a meeting with an online correspondent, only to have him or her chicken out.

But today was different. Recognizing me from the hat I said I'd be wearing, David met me, carrying a couple large shopping bags. As per an earlier agreement, I gave him a second head start, and then followed him into the men's room, then into the rather spacious handicapped bathroom. He was awaiting me.

My heart raced. David was a typical man, not much to distinguish him: brown shortish hair, fading in the front, jeans, and Bruins sweatshirt. What set my heart pounding was what was in the bag, and what was next. We'd discussed enough that not much talking was necessary. I turned my back to him, and heart pounding, caught a glimpse of black cloth before my world descended into darkness. Given the suspicion aroused by two men talking in the bathroom, the rest would be down rather quietly...

I took off my sandals, then peeled off my t-shirt and shorts. They were taken from me, and apparently placed in a bag. I stood in front of David blindfolded, and wearing nothing but a pair of panties he'd told me to prepare. They were virgin white, and on the rear had in fabric paint the words "Made you look!" I felt his hands on my shoulders, turning me around. Then he lifted my arms so they were straight in front of me.

One of the most exciting ideas about this whole day was that David had chosen and bought my costume using money I sent him. I had no idea in what outfit I would spend the day, though for the next half hour I would be guessing from the feel. Over my outstretched arms I felt the light straps that I knew meant a bra...sure enough, it was tightly and quickly closed behind me. I could hear David's breathing start to pick up as well as mine, as two ice cold objects were jammed into the bra, icing my nipples. I now had breasts.

I was well on my way down a journey and things began to feel to happen more and more quickly. Each foot was lifted, and a sock of some sort rolled onto the leg. They each stopped at just below the knee. Then stepping into a shoe wit ha definite heel, that was strapped around my ankle. I wouldn't be kicking off these shoes.

Now came the moment of truth. Some rustling of bags and fabric, and then a dress...a tight dress. The midriff tucked my gut in, and the top hem clearly just covered my bra, showcasing my new cleavage. Small cap sleeves rested on my shoulders. My arms migrated down to double check what seemed to be an alarmingly short hem, but were caught by David. Making tsking sounds, he began what would be a part of this experience that would set quite a precedent for the day.

Carefully, David bent my arms so the elbows faced outward, and the two open hands faced each other, thumbs on top. I felt some wires attached to some weight placed in each hand, with strings attached. For an amazing, alarming ten minutes, David tied this loose strings around my fingers and hands so that they were trapped in place holding this object just above waist level. Something attached the two hands as well...I couldn't separate or close them. I was trapped in this costume and these shoes.

While I tugged and pulled, I felt a shoulder length wig be carefully put in place. The hair was fussily draped over my shoulders. I could feel David lean in...and whisper "I'm taking the blindfold off...if you open your eyes before I say so, I'm leaving you here." Swallowing hard, and sweating hard, I could only nod.

With that, the world lightened abit, though my eyes remained closed. I felt a hand take my face gently. Soon I smelled makeup. Something was brushed all over my face, before being rubbed in. I felt a brush against my eyelids, then a pencil. Mascara. I had to make a kissy face so something could be applied to my lips.

I heard David packing up as I stood there in heels, some sort of dress, the weight of a wig and...something else...on my head. And of course, my hands useless. I finally heard "count to 30, then open your eyes." And with that David left.

Still scared by his words, I did as told. Then, almost shaking, I opened my eyes at 30. The door had been left ajar, and I barely held it together to read the paper stuck to the back "You have 20 minutes to meet me in front of the Burger King." Though an abstract part of me qualied at the mile walk in these shoes, that was outweighed by the eagerness to ascertain what exactly I wore. I opened the door in the silent bathroom and saw....

Anybody what to guess?

A Camping Education, Part IV

(The final installment of my story. Find parts one, two, and three here. A bit difficult to write, as only one person stepped up with suggestions; I may have to rethink this approach down the road...)

Courtney had a surprise, the girls were told as they left the beach. In her usual wide-eyed way, she was trying to excite her charges, and Leah, Imelia, Riley, and Fiona all wore traces of smiles on their lips in anticipation. A casual observer would be forgiven for wondering about the lack of enthusiasm of one pink-and-denim clad girl, Kayci. That observer probably wouldn't guess that the long-haired girl shuffling along in skinny jeans and bright pink nails had started the day as Kevin. After sunning herself in a bikini and being subject to a makeover, Kayci seemed to fight right in with the crowd of mallrats walking down the sidewalk this somewhat tired tourist town. Chomping away on bubble gum, she fit right in to the point of eliciting an occasional admiring glance from some of the local boys.

Lost in his own world, Kevin didn't really understand the hubbub when Courtney revealed that all the girls were going to the Tisdale Town Carnival, with rides and games that afternoon and evening. As a matter of fact, had he known what awaited him, he likely would have taken off running from where he was.

"Carnival? You mean more people are going to see me like this??"

Imelia simply rolled her eyes as she gestured around to the sidewalks clogged with vacationers hunting down tchotchkes emblazoned with the town or lake's name on them with grim determination in their eyes. "These aren't people? Hello, everyone here already thinks you're a girl, unless you open your mouth and keep whining. The way your butt looks in those jeans, nobody would believe you're a boy! Now shut up and enjoy the carnival."

Enjoy it? Not only was Kevin not sure it would be fun, he knew that Lily harbored a deep secret that she rarely gave out -- she was terrified of rides. Looking over, her complexion had already taken an ashen sheen at the idea of the roller coasters and tilt-a-whirls in her future. By the time they had gotten their hand stamped Lily could even be seen to be trembling.

Kevin couldn't help himself. "Hey, brat, get over here."
"Don't call me that....Kayci."
"Yah, whatever. Listen, how are you going to get out of going on these rides?"
Lily pursed her lips. "I don't know. I don't want any of them to think I'm not cool."
"I figured. But Courtney seems cool. Maybe you can tell her."
"Maybe. I dunno...this sucks. I was having so much fun today."
Kevin merely held up his hand, tipped by neon pink nails. "Don't tell me about bad days, brat."

"Kayci, come here!" Fiona and Riley linked arms with Kayci, all but dragging him along, away from Lily. The girls had decided to divide up -- he'd be going with Fiona and Riley while the rest of the girls went on the rides. Thus did Kevin end up being essentially frog-marched down to the arcade, where for some reason the girls kept pointing at the stuffed animals arranged near the arcade games. "Ooh, that frog is so cute! I love the unicorn!" The whining was oddly loud and seemed superficial -- after all, why they just didn't try their luck at the ring toss or basketball toss? He was just about to suggest they fork over their 50 cents when someone solved that problem, and created a new one.

"I can get you that unicorn." So said a guy wearing a tight t-shirt and cargo shorts, looking at Fiona. "I'm Billy, and I bet my friends Linus and Rick could help hook you two up as well." He gestured at two other boys that were Fiona's and Kevin's age.

The transformation in Fiona was remarkable. From being a hard-nosed girl who had mercifully teased and feminized him all day, she became the most delicate, helpless flower in the world. "Oh, reeeeellly? That puppy there is so cute," she said, leaning in to brush Billy's chest with her shoulder. "And Kayci was just saying how she loves that baby rhino...but we're no good at sports, except maybe cheerleading..."

Billy casually put his arm around Fiona's shoulders as the other boys, smelling blood themselves, moved closer. "That's okay, I play football, and Linus here does basketball. We'll get you cuties your prizes." Just like that, Rick had clearly lost out, with Riley too young to be eligible, he was trapped as wingman-to-nowhere...a position Kevin knew well. Meanwhile, Linus began staring none-too-obivously at Kayci.

Fiona was in full flirt mode. "But you know, Rick, if you don't win us our prizes, I think you pay a penalty?"

"A penalty?" Billy laughed. "Okay, what's that?"

Fiona and Riley whispered and giggled, leaving Kayci on her own. She could only smile soft as Linus leered. He was about to say something what Riley spoke up. "If you don't win us a prize, you have to take us to dinner tonight!"

Now the boys laughed, as all six people knew that the real prize had been declared, and no stuffed animals were going to be won at this arcade. In degenerated into a joke, with the boys doing all they could to avoid winning -- shooting the basketballs pathetically short of the hoop, tossing the rings sideways -- everyone knew that the real prizes were clutching purses alongside them.

Soon enough, the money was spent, and arrangements were being made: Linus would pick them up in his truck at the front gate of the campground that evening. Cell phones were raised, and Linus took the picture and Billy posed with the girls. Both were looking forward to the date tonight. Kayci even forced a smile, aware that her situation was spiralling ever out of control.

He was the subject of much shrieking when Courtney, Imelia, and Lily learned of his predicament. Even Lily, having overcome her fear of the rides, was grinning as well. An emergency decision was made to get back to the camp as soon as possible to get Kayci ready for her first date. Her camping education had just begun...

Friday, September 10, 2010

Date-flow chart

Inspired by a shirt that Master saw for sale recently, I have been instructed to come up with a flow chart to help me decide whether to go out with a boy if he asks me. When Master first told me that I needed to come up and memorize a flow chart with ten decision points, I rolled my eyes and said that would take a long time.

Then I was punished for "acting too smart" by understanding him the first time by holding a penny against a wall with my nose for twenty minutes. So, appropriately chastised, Master explained very slowly what he wanted, and I was off. I learned that each question had a yes and no, and yes would make me ask another question. A no would make me ask a different question. I keep asking questions until I know enough to decide.

I can't fully show it in this blog, so I will include a snapshot to give you a sense of it:

Is he popular?

Yes: Is he a prep?
No: Is he cute?
Yes: Is he a double dater?
Two noes: laugh at his face
Yes: Say maybeNo: Do my friends like him?

The whole thing is ten levels deep and several more wide...being a girl is complicated!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Can't believe I forgot this...

...but as Master points out, a girl like me has to take sides. So...

Graphic created by me...feel free to use...

Monday, September 6, 2010

A Camping Education, Part III

(Part three, of a four-part story. Click on the links to find Parts One and Two)

"We're here!"

"Well, obviously," thought Kevin. "We just pulled up and tied onto this rickety little pier near the town beach in Tisdale. I suppose next our Clueless Leader will inform us we're at the beach--"

Courtney piped up "hurry up, girls, we're at the beach and I don't want to waste time!"

Kevin grimaced, but could frankly be forgiven for feeling bitter. The day had started in a promising way, joining five teenaged girls (albeit including his little brat of a sister, Lily) for a day of camping programming after his parents had jettisoned their children. Unfortunately, his mean-spirited attitude wore away at the girls, who felt compelled to change his situation, if not his attitude.

Thus Kevin looked thoroughly in place among his giggling companions with his hot pink fingernails, and a light pink set of lips. A short skirt and pink top -- and the fact that he was responding to the name Kayci -- caused nary a glance from the few people sunning themselves. Kevin would soon be standing out, however, for reasons he'd never intended.

Being the sole focus of a group of excited teenaged girls makes for a bewildering assault of noise, and Kevin was no exception as he rode in the campground's boat with the girls on the way to the beach. As a matter of fact, he'd decided all their questions were sarcastic ("don't you love how pretty your nails are?" "where did you buy that cute top?") that he didn't realize one was actually sincere. Riley was offering him a choice of bathing suits.

"Pink or yellow? Those are my choices? Well, I'm not gonna wear pink, Riley!"

Kevin didn't see why his angry reply had elicited such laughter until Courtney turned around to point out, "you're wearing pink right now...Kayci!" Embarrassed at being corrected and out-thought, Kevin muttered a preference for yellow, which just caused more shrieking.

So it was that Kevin stood in the bath house next to the beach as Riley showed him the bathing suit he could have chosen -- a demure dark pink one-piece with nothing more remarkable than a drooping back.

Instead, Riley held up, smiling broadly, a neon yellow tankini. Here, Kevin's thoughts diverged from the girls'...he realized quickly that the bright color would stand out across the beach, making him easy to track down and watch, and garner attention. However, the reason the girls were laughing, and what Kevin did not realise was that the outline of his bikini was going to leave some white areas of skin...

Regardless, the girls soon clamored for photos with their new "friend". Kevin couldn't help but pout in his revealing new two-piece as cameras clicked to record his humiliation. Imelia broadly smiled with her arm around the "new girl". Even the photos were humiliating..."everyone! SHOES!! Now say hotties!" Aside from staring bleakly ahead, and trying to control his blown hair, Kevin was silent.

Just when he was starting to wonder what else would transpire that day, the girls entered into a huddle, before sending out his sister Lily. "Sis, you need some reading material! Here's three dollars...if you don't come back from that newsstand across the street carrying a copy of CosmoGirl, we're leaving you here." Looking over her shoulder for confirmation, Kevin could only comprehend the smiles he saw as proof that this was his next task.

Tremblingly, Kevin crossed the street clutching his money. Looking at the pavement, it took several minutes of peeking out of the corner of his eyes to realize that everyone saw this yellow swimsuit-clad, pink-nailed and -lipped person as a girl. Kevin even had to admit that the bright pink nails clutching a magazine that promised "861 New Looks for Fall!" seemed natural. The cashier didn't notice anything amiss, aside perhaps from his customer's tremulous voice.

So it was with strange relief that Kevin rejoined "his friends" on the beach. They'd already laid out a towel for him, smack amidst the group. This was, Kevin soon learned, in order to monitor his reading. Not only would there be a quiz in a couple hours to prove that he paid attention to his magazine, but also spot checks to make sure he was taking all the quizzes. Any failure would result in him trapped in his sunny swimsuit all day while around town.

So it was that the early afternoon passed with Kevin learning about new nail colors, the hottest gossip from the set of the latest Twilight movie, and eight ways to learn if he's into you. Lily in particular took advantage of the opportunity to take photos of Kevin reading "Is Cheerleading Right for You?" and "Favorite Kissing Games".

The humiliation paid off in a way, as Kevin cruised to a perfect 7 for 7 on his little quiz. To his relief, he was given a new outfit, far less feminine and noticeable -- some tight jeans and a pink shirt. However, his heart turned cold when he heard what the group would be doing next...

Dear readers and loyal participants, the fourth and final part is on the way once I get ideas from you. As always, use a comment to write a line that could go with the photo on the right...I'll use one of them to wrap up this story with a bang!

Sunday, September 5, 2010


By the way, my thanks and welcome to the many new visitors getting to this blog...last month nearly doubled my previous best month, and September is so far on course to do much better still. It's been inspiring and motivating to receive email from some new regulars, and it feeds me new ideas and energy to keep this up. Thanks to everyone who's been communicating, and welcome all!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Recent poll

About one - fifth of the voters here preferred "Bride" to any other feminine archetype, something that surprised me. It seems that I have many "older sisters" around here. Regardless, the results:

My favorite feminine archetype is:
French maid (11%)
Prostitute/ slut(11%)
Schoolgirl (30%)
Bride (19%)

I'll admit that was a tough vote for me. I just can't imagine that Ashlee is smart enough to go to a private school that has a schoolgirl uniform, though she certainly uses it for inspiration for some of her outfits. On the other hand, there's just no point to school without being a cheerleader. As for down the road, I'm sure Ashlee will make a cute little bride, but for now she's a lot more interested in finding the cute outfit for the movies next weekend...

A Camping Education, Part 2

(I'm afraid this is bumping into my next story...I'll be re-shuffling things around it seems to make room. Anyway, Part One is here...)

Helplessly wrapped in duct tape, lips and fingernails stained a humiliating pink, Kevin was received a camping education he'd never expected at the hands of counselor Courtney, his sister Lily, and their fellow campers. Safe from adult eyes, it seems the day's program had gone from camping fun to humiliating Kevin. And things were only going to get worse.

Courtney approached him carrying a demonic smile and a feather, trailed immediately by Kevin's sister Lily. Kevin immediately began to squirm, as his sister Lily had apparently announced his ticklishness to everyone. Sure enough, Courtney immediately began to work on Kevin's bare feet, and he couldn't help but laugh and smile. In his desperation, his hands even worked somewhat out of the duct tape...enough to wave around but not enough to stop Courtney. Meanwhile, Fiona stood by alongside, snapping pictures on her cell phone.

After a few minutes, Courtney stopped, and Kevin sat there panting. That's when Fiona came up. "Look Kevin, you seem to be having such a good time!" Indeed, the photos on the phone were distressing...taken to not include the duct tape keeping him on the chair, all one could see was a very happy Kevin with kissable pink lips and fingernails. In one picture, he was smiling gaily, hands limply waving. The dominant color was pink.

"Considering that Lily knows the phone numbers of all your friends, and yes, that girl Jackie who you're crushing on right now, I'd say things are looking pretty bad for you, wouldn't you?"

Kevin just stared at the phone, to better remember the object of his search in the future. For now, though, he didn't have much choice. "I'd say things are bad, yeah. What do you want?"

Lily joined in. "Well, we decided that maybe you'd enjoy making up for your complaining earlier. We're going to be going around the lake in the camp's party boat for today. Maybe we won't show photos of you to everyone back home. if you'd just change. Fiona found some clothing that might help in."

Kevin blanched at what Fiona carried. A hot pink bra with a pale tank top over it, a white starburst right on the chest. Worse still, a dark blue stretch skirt!

"So here's what we'll do. We're going to head off in the jeep, and come back with the boat. We'll leave you with this adorable outfit, and a pair of scissors you can use to free yourself. When we come back here, we'll be looking for you. If you're in those clothes, we'll let you on the boat for a day that will be fun for all of us. If not, you have a long walk back the campground with those adorable nails...and who knows what stories we'll spread about you before you come back?"

With a bubbly round of laughter, the girls packed up a few things to head back to the campground. With a nasty smile, Riley planted a pair of scissors in the ground, just next to Kevin. Either way, Kevin had to be free, and with some squirming, the scissors were in his hand as the jeep roared off down the road. Soon enough, Kevin was staring at the pile in front of him.

It was clear that his nails and lips were girlish enough...would everything else follow suit? Kevin tried various scenarios...trying to hitchhike back home, shedding all his clothing, but nothing ended up with him in a good position. Better to appeal to the girls' sense of right, and his own craftiness down the road. In little time, Kevin had scurried into the woods with the clothing.

The bra was the first obvious challenge. Never having taken one off of someone, it was the better part of ten minutes before he could figure out how to put it on. Eventually, hooking the front and rotating it was the solution. After that, it was little work to put on the tank top and skirt, adn wait by the shore's edge.

Time passed.

And passed.

Kevin was on the verge of thinking he'd been abandoned when the motor began to purr from the distance. Shortly, a boatful of gleeful girls was waving at him. Imelia shouted from well out from shore "So, do you like your new outfit, Kayci?" Kevin just narrowed his eyes in response.

Soon Imelia shouted again "I said, Kayci, do you like your new outfit, or should we just turn around?"

In for a penny, Kevin figured... "Yes, Imelia."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I like my new outfit."

A bad precedent had been set with those words, as a passel of shouting girls added more and more to his response, threatening at every point to leave him on shore.

So it was that Kevin's last words before boarding the boat had been "I love my cute new outfit, everyone! Everyone better watch out because Kayci is looking cute today!"

With that, Kevin sullenly boarded the boat, unaware even that his bra strap had begun to slip into view. No, Kevin merely reflected on the day ahead. "Hey, sis, turn and give us a smile", the girls said, as Kevin just sat there wondering what he ws getting himself into.

Kevin's questions were soon to be answered as the boat sped off to the town beach...

Okay, dear know the drill!
What's your suggested line for part 3 of the story? The best one makes it into the tale...somehow. If you want inspiration, the photo I'll be using is to the left this time...

Friday, September 3, 2010

"Miss Bimbo"

Via Christina's Room I've learned about and started playing the online game "Miss Bimbo". You basically try to keep a young adult looking cute and successful in money, looks, and love. It's okay, though probably won't be a daily obsession for me. Any other players out there?

Thursday, September 2, 2010


On right, I posted a list of favorite sites of mine. If there is anything there you'd suggest I add, or any errors, please let me know...

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

And we're off

Today marks the opening of Halloween season, where I plan, fantasize, dream, and generally obsess about Halloween night on this blog. This break down into two things: what I'll wear and what I'll do.

Reports from the last two years can be found here (honey bee) and here (Strawberry Shortcake). I have a story cued up starting a couple days. I'm also considering allowing reader to vote on what I wear and do this year if it seems that there's enough interaction and comments.

Also littered around this post are just some of the costumes I'm considering this'll see it's heavy on short skirts and on pink, of course! (I'm also considering a pink devil and pink baby girl costume). What Halloween dreams, realized and unrealized, do you have?