Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Happy Holidays!

This blog will likely go dark until 2012, as the season is upon us...all the best to everyone.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Posture practice

Sure, I slouch and shamble like any good teenager, but sometimes Master wants me to have good posture. For that, he designed the posture hat. Not the painful, uncomfortable thing you may be thinking...

"'re thinking. Take a look at it," Master said.

It had a chin strap, and nothing else except a weird grid with sharp pins sticking upward, and a round platform in the middle. Master put it on my head, buckling the strap underneath...the pins angled inward toward the platform on my head.


"Oh, I forgot the best part....this!"

A water balloon. It was clear..if I tilted my head too much, the water balloon would roll off the platform, pop on the pins, and get me wet. Clever, I guess.

For some reason, Master insisted on practice in the backyard. Back, forth, back, forth...I was getting pretty good. And then it happened.

I felt the water on my shoulders and in my hair, ruining the plain shirt he'd had me wear. I looked down, wondering if the whole point had been to show off my bra. And saw something unexpected.

Pools of glitter. I looked at Master. "Yep, I dumped a lot of glitter in that water. Good luck getting that out of your hair before the next meeting...I told you to take it seriously. Now don't track that crap in the house..."

Perhaps better posture next time will keep me from getting hosed down in the lawn.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

The right wrong answer

Something ominous is happening. Thus far, Master has been happy with me getting things wrong. "What's 8 X 7?" Any answer other than 56 would make him happy. So, I could just think "okay, the answer is 56, so I'll say something else..." and be done with it.

Not any more.

I'm learning right wrong answers. The correct answer to "8 X 7" isn't 56, but it's not 52 or 57 either. It's 54. Anything other than that is wrong. What is happening in everything from spelling to math is that I'm not avoiding the right answer, I'm learning the wrong one. Which could be a problem....

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Initiation Ideas

Oddly enough, one of the more common search strings that lands (surprised) people here are initiations. With that in mind, Master concluded it would be a good idea to offer some suggestions for "victims" who are girls like me. So, here they are:

  1. The new victim must respond to a new name and must ignore the old one. She will introduce herself with that name too. It can be anywhere on the scale of meanness from something sounding really old "Pearl" to slightly silly "Giggles" to self-depreciating "Flirtaholic".
  2. The new victim must do makeup oddly and pretend that it's on purpose. Lipstick only on one lip, eye shadow only on one eye. Eighties makeup noone wears anymore.
  3. Weird clothing of course. If you don't want it obvious, be subtle. A pacifier hanging from a necklace, or having to dress head-to-toe in one color.
  4. A bell or two tied to clothing or jewelry to announce her movements.
  5. The classic weird lunch. Baloney and mayonnaise sandwich, tomato and mustard soup, etc.
  6. Classic combo. Water then flour. Then something like m&ms....dries nice.

Of course, those are only a few, and there are so many others out there. I found some others I like around the web too:

  • "We had to pop 4 water balloons on our heads that had glitter water in them" Glitter for days...awesome.
  • "We got plates full of whip cream with skittles in it and we had to get all the skittles out but they put a spoon full of baby food in the middle of it!"

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


One of the reasons I want to be a cheerleader? Because you get to be claimed. Dancing and yelling in front of the crowd, undreds of people, in your cute little uniform. Claimed, though. Because on your cheek are two daintily painted numbers, telling everyone who you belong to (or who you want to belong to). It's sweet.

Saturday, November 26, 2011


Master and I were out the other day, and sat down for ice cream. In front of us was a girl "my age", wearing a cast that went from thigh to ankle. It was bright pink, and across the length of it were written well wishes in marker. Clearly, she was popular -- there were lots of messages -- and those would be with her morning and night for six weeks.

There was a spark in Master's eye I didn't like...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

On the road

How generous of Master. I don't drive of course, but he somehow managed to find yet another way of driving forth my girlish side: where I sit in his car. Instead of a typical seat, my perch in his vehicle is no decorated with items from this collection. I just wonder how he explains it when I'm not around.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

First Night, Part V

The gripping conclusion! (Go back to parts I, II, III, or IV).

What was I going to do? I walked immediately toward the nearest bell until I felt a string against my shins. I backed off a bit, and kneelt on the soft carpet. The bells stilled, and took a second before I found the courage. "I would like what you have to give me." Some laughter went around the room -- odd sounding laughter, and I tensed. A hand reached out, took my wrist, and turned it until my hand was palm up, fingers open. I felt something a little soft being placed in my hand as more laughter sounded. I had no idea what until I felt something at one end clicked, and the thing began to vibrate. Now I knew exactly what I was holding, and was sure that I would not be permitted to put it back down for a while.

"Thank you." I knew what was expected as I rose up and walked back a couple steps to the center of the room. Soon, the bells began to tinkle, and I focused on one and followed the sound until hitting the string, and again knelt. "I would like what you're about to give me." I didn't feel anything on my hair. No bow. Instead I heard a plastic snapping sound, and soon began to feel something wet and a little cold being traced on my stomach..soon though I could tell from the smell, it was magic marker. I was being written on and just had to take it. I was helped up, turned around, and more done on my back.

"Sorry, Boybait. Try again."

The sounds of cameras taking pics followed me as I said thank you and rose again. Heaven knows what had been drawn or written on my stomach or back. The room was quieter now, a little. Fewer bells, as I chose one and got down on my knees, my hand vibrating. I looked toward where I imagine my teammate would be sitting, only to hear more laughter than usual. "I would like what you're about to give me."

"Reeellly." The sound froze my blood. Not that I would be surprised by such skepticism, but because it clarified a suspicion I'd had since I walked into this room. It had sounded different, the shifting about. The laughter had been different, and now I knew why. There were males in this room. And I was kneeling in front of one.

I licked my lips. "Yes." I heard Rikki's voice somewhere behind me -- "Of course she does, look at her stomach!" I knew what was coming, but I couldn't think of a way out.

So when a hand went around my head and I was drawn into a pair of lips, I could only kiss back. Holding what I held in one hand, who knows what scrawled on my stomach, dressed like a girl on the make, what else could I do? So I did. Eventually he broke the kiss and I went up for air.


"You're welcome, Boybait. That name is a good fit for you. I'm sure it won't be our last kiss."

I nodded, a bit unsteady, and as I turned felt a distinct pinch on my butt cheek that made me jump and everyone laugh. I heard the voice again, "hey, I can said to do it!" There was no tension in the room, expectation. It was no longer mild fun, was it? Yet again the bells rang. Distinctly fewer now, only four. But I knew this person wasn't the only male I'd heard.

"I'd like whatever yommmph". Nothing subtle here as another tongue explored my mouth while a hand seized my rump. The kiss was broken and I sat there, panting. A faint taste of cheap beer.

Three to go. One in three chance.

"I'd like whatever you'd like to give me."

"Are you sure?" Thank goodness, it was a girl's voice. "Yes." Stephanie's I think. The captain would be the one to give me the bow.

"Are you reeeaallllly sure?" I nodded. "Open your mouth". A straw was inserted. "Drink".

I drank as told. A vanilla milkshake. Very small, soon ending in the air/straw sound when trying to drink the bottom of a cup. So what? The laughter didn't tell me.

"Good girl....almost there, we're proud of you Boybait."

One bell to my left, one to my right. Naturally, whatever I'd pick would be wrong, so I went to the left.

"I'd like what you have to give me." I was stood up, turned around. I felt my hair being gathered into a ponytail. My heart leapt as I waited...but I felt a book given to me. "Almost home," someone said.

And finally, the last bell, the last request. With my heart leaping for joy, I felt the bow tied in my hair. I heard people leave. The blindfold came off. The vibrating object was taken out of my hand. "Welcome to the Knightettes...Kayci!"

I was buried in a hug...all girls. I looked around, trying to will myself to stay calm in the arms of some hot seniors. "Where are...I mean, who did I...?"

"Oh, that's a secret. Could be anyone on the football'll never know! Isn't that fun?"

Well, it certainly was not my problem. I looked down. In my hands was a photo album, no doubt with photos from throughout the night. Something to pitch as soon as I could. I looked down, my stomach was labeled "Property of the THS Football Team -- see back for handling instructions". Could have been worse I guessed. Not much worse though. Glimpsing my back, I could see some phrases, including the words "pinch" and "buy".

"One other question, what was that milkshake?" The girls laughed and looked at each other. Finally Rikki answered: "Secret family'll find out when you're a senior."

The girls give me a damp cloth to swab down my stomach, sharing stories while they got my back. Revenge against Lily and Paula are planned extravagantly, as apparently being humiliated by others was not allowed. The exhaustion kept me from tracking the conversation. One of the girls pointed out my struggles to stay awake, and I was finally driven back home, around midnight. "Practice starts on you go. Kayci. Welcome to the squad."

I walked up the walkway, and into the house. Eager for the shower and to put the night behind me. Only to hear clapping.

"Welcome home, sister." A smug Kayci sat on the stairwell. "Was the initiation as bad as everyone says? That's quite the outfit they gave you...oh, what's that on the back?"

Disgustedly, I tore off the shirt and threw it in her face. "You're not hearing anything from me, bitch. And I'm going upstairs to take a dump in your underwear."

I did my best to stomp upstairs to shower and try to forget everything that happened, only to be followed by her mocking voice. "The nail polish remover is upstairs under the cabinet. Oh, and you looked cute wrapped to the pole."

"You knew about that?"

Kayci shrugged. "Yeah...I was going through town to a friend's house to hide out when we saw you. Glad I didn't have to do that. Nice mustache you had!"

I thought about explaining my encounter with Lily and Paula, but couldn't be bothered. So what.

Three weeks later, the email spam has died down. I got many rude requests, but blocked them. It was embarrassing opening my email to a picture of a male member, but nobody on the Internet gets fazed by that. However, one email from "Stephanie Kowalski" raised my interest, and I openend it.

"Dere Kayci,

Attached are tha pix from initiation nite. That was so fun, thanx for bein awesum about it! Neways, I didnt know weather u wanted them to this addy that u gave that nite, or the one u put on the form when u applied to cheerleading, so I sent them to both. Sry u lost the album! See u on Friday's pracitce!


The email had been sent to me with three dozen photos attached, dressed as a baby, Strawberry shortcake, in the room on my knees with an anonymous pair of lips on mine. everywhere. Sent to my address. And my sister's.

Right after it, another email.

"Great pics! Wouldn't it be great to spread them around the school? I have some ideas for this weekend...clear your schedule for some girl time, or be the laughingstock of the place.

Your loving twin sister,


My schedule was already clear. For what, I wasn't sure...

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

First Night, Part IV

Kayci's , er Boybait's travails approach an end, but there's something different about some folks around this time...

" 'cute...THS Cheerleaders rule!!' Oh, how cute! Look at this, Greysoul, the girlie wants to be a cheerleader! She wants to be cute! Disgusting!"

Greysoul aka Lily, snorted in disgust. "What a fake! Look -- " and at this she grabbed my shrink-wrapped chest -- "I bet she stuffs! You cheerleaders are so fake!" I couldn't disagree with her on that one.

Darqheart sneered, heavily mascara'd eyes beaming contempt. "And you let your 'friends' do this to you I bet! Anything to fit in! Come on, Greysoul, let's go...I feel so...slimy all of a sudden. Dirty."

Lily nodded. "I know...but. Wait, Darqheart. Maybe little cutie wants some help?"

My stomach turned to water as Lily whispered in Paula's ear, triggering laughter and a nod. Paula went into her bag, eventually fishing something out. She walked up to me.

"We're going to help you little one. You're gonna be reeel cute..." Nails coated in black polish came at me, and pinned my head still against the pole. I felt a small pencil, eyeliner scratch against my upper lip, one side. Then the other, and it dawned on me. She was drawing a ridiculous mustache on me! Of all the times I'd stared at the mirror wishing for facial hair to speak of, this is when I get help?

"Hey, come on! You can't--"

"Oh yes I can dearie. I bet your friends are loving" She moved to my chin, scribbling on a beard and finishing with scratching between my eyebrows, no doubt giving me a unibrow. Finally, Paula pulled back, and snapped a quick photo with her cell phone before turning to cross the street. "Have a good night, Ditzy!" were her last words as the ear buds were inserted back into her ears.

Now the cars were silent. I looked like a dweeb. The only time in my life I wanted to look like a cute girl, and these life-hating Goths had robbed me! Sure I got a couple sarcastic honks to bring me to around 22, but by the time the girls came bouncing back I knew I had failed.

"Ooh, tough break Boybait! You do look kinda like this mystery brother Kevin now...just kidding!" Stephanie studied me for a moment. "Cheerleaders have to deal with random badness all the time, and I understand that. I'll give you another 15 minutes to get your thirty and clean off your face if you want that chance. Do you, Boybait?"

"For sure Captain!"

"I bet you do. Everyone wants to be a Knightette. We'll help you out." And thus for the second time tonight I was helpless as someone scrubbed my face clean as if I were a child. "Of course, you did fail your task, so there is a penalty...girls?"

And now I saw what the other posterboard was for. In bold black letters on neon pink was the message "I'm single and looking...hit me at" and my email address. Propped up beside me, it broadcast how easily I could be had. And soon enough, I saw a car full of guys writing the address down. I doubt I'd get anything other than spam and harassment, but not what I wanted to deal with in my inbox. It did, however, earn me enough honks that it seemed like no time at all before I felt the wrap being loosened as I survived another "stunt" for "my" initiation.

The contempt in Paula's eyes, for someone I wasn't, burned on me. Could I ever explain? She'd understand, if anyone would. But could I?

We pulled into the house, and once again went in the basement. "Almost there, Kayci," Stephanie said. "There's only one thing left -- you have to get your cheer bow, your symbol of being a Knightette. I'm afraid, though, you have to blindfold yourself for this last part. Go ahead, be a good little girl and do what you're told." Seething on the inside, I picked up the black scarf and wrapped around my eyes one last time.

"Okay?" I nodded. Just then I felt my top and skirt grabbed, and soon heard and felt scissors cutting through both items. I was left, I'm sure, looking like a hoochie...the top barely covered my bra, and the skirt barely hid my rump. "Nothing like fresh air, huh?" Came Stephanie's voice, laughing. "Now follow us..." I was taken by the hand and brought upstairs into what certainly felt like a large room

"There are several of us in this room...we will each ring a bell we have. Follow the sound of any bell, and when you bump into the string in front of us, kneel in front of that person. Say 'I would like what you have to give me.' You will enjoy some things we can give you, some not as much...but it's not your call. You will do this until you feel someone tie your cheer bow around your ponytail. It may be the first one of us you ask, or the seventh. Now stay there until you hear the bells begin to ring. One last warning -- do not touch us, or else."

Shuffling and giggling was heard, as some hands turned me around a few times. I could hear people running about, and finally the bells began to ring in the darkened room.

What's in the room with our hero(ine)?? Find out in the conclusion, where almost every question is answered!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

First Night, Part III

Hope you're enjoying "First Night" parts one and two It continues below:

And with that the door was opened and I stepped out on some low heels to Stephanie's porch. The door immediately slammed behind me. I looked at the three houses across the street, and swallowed hard. Only hearing Stephanie's voice in a teasing tone remind me "we're waaiiitiiing...." from my bucket caused me to move. A slight breeze blew my tiny skirt around, but I had no way to hold it down, imprisoned as I was. I chose the yellow house to the left, and tremblingly walked up the front path.

Hands full, I rang the doorbell. No response. Rang it again with my left pinkie knuckle. Perhaps nobody was home? No. I heard heels on wood and somebody opened the door. A businesswoman in a pantsuit a size too small, too important to be answering doors.

"Can I help you?"

What in the world was I going to say? "Yes, please tell the people across the street that I'm not a girl, really I'm not, because they glued me into this ridiculous costume"?

No, I said "Trick or like treat?"

Businesswoman just looked at me coldly, and a cell phone rang. "I don't have time for this foolishness" and she turned, slamming the door in my face.

The worst part is a tiny little bit of me was disappointed I didn't get any candy. Why did she hate me so much? Shrugging to bolster myself, I walked down the walk, along the sidewalk for another fifty feet, and up to the second house, from which loud rock music blared. I rapped my knuckle against the door and waited. Knocked again. Someone was clearly inside given the music, so I tried the doorbell, and stepped back composing myself.

A gust of wind blew, ruffling the back of my skirt. Anyone walking by would possibly see my panties...there was noone behind me, but in front of me there was. Looked to be a college kid. The source of the music. I plastered on a smile. "Trick or like treat?"

The kid laughed. "The outfit's cute sweetie, but Halloween isn't for a while! Are you raising money for something?"

Um....sounded reasonable. Not impossible for what Kayci to do that. "Yah! It's for like a good cause!"

"Do you have some sort of leaflet? Not to seem suspicious, but how do I know you're not just doing this and keeping the money?"

The guy had a good point I had to allow. A real good point. But considering that my hands were glued to the pumpkin, and there wasn't much room for anything in that costume, I couldn't carry or produce a leaflet. Anyway, the guy was still staring at me.

I fixed him with my best shot at a look I'd seen from Kayci many times. The 'duh' look. "You think I dress like this just to collect change?"

The guy looked for a second and nodded. " What's it going to?"

As the dollar bill landed in my bucket I had to think. "The...pound. For like kittens."

The guy smiled. "Well, good luck then like little girl."

Turning around, I couldn't believe it. I'd passed completely. He believed me! Everything I was trying to sell he believed! That I was a girl, that I dressed like this for real...I had completely snowed him.

And about halfway down the sidewalk I stopped for a second. I was proud of that? What had happened to me.

Hence I was less than peppy when knocking on the last door. It was opened by the very example of a soccer mom. Sensible hair, a ready smile. "Well, look at you!"

"Trick or like treat."

She frowned a little. "Oh, I bet you're raising money. Let me see, yes I can offer you" She rummaged through her purse. The woman seemed the type to have done this for real in her youth.

Holding out the pumpkin I must have given off waves of unhappiness as she stopped with the money. "What's wrong dear?"

I kind of snapped to. "Oh, just thinking of all the poor animals I'm raising money for."

She beamed as she dropped a couple bills in the pumpkin, even patting my head lightly. "What a nice young lady...good job! But one word...I know you're having fun sweetie, but you may want to pick a costume a little less...well, you know. Trust me."

I smiled and curtseyed as the door closed on that strange warning. I came back across the street, re-entering Stephanie's house triumphantly. The girls opened the door laughing, with one of them saying "here's the airhead now!"

"What? I did exactly what I was supposed to do! I bet you didn't do this well when you had to do this!"

Stephanie mockingly put her arm around me. "Little girl, the whole idea was to score candy, not money." I turned a little red and looked down as one of the other girls plucked my hard-earned cash out. "Maybe she has instincts for money already, if you know what I mean. Let's go." My cash disappeared, and for a moment I stayed there in the outfit.

Some acrid stuff rubbed into my hands, and I was free of the pumpkin, though my glittering teal nails remained. I never thought I'd have been as happy as I was to get back into my little rookie tshirt, but this time the shorts were gone. Instead was a tiered white skirt that would show the teal panties through with little light. Feeling I'd no choice, I slid the tiny skirt up my legs, and slipped on the trainers, reporting for my next stunt. We got into the car again and headed downtown.

I was thinking where Kayci could possibly be, and how much trouble I could get in for what I wanted to do to her for this stunt, when a voice snapped me back to reality. "Hey, Boybait, what's your email address?" A bit out of it, taken off-guard, I was reeling it off to the girl as she wrote it down before I even realized it. They had my real email address. But why did they need it?

The car turned onto Thompson Street, the divided highway that leads to the retail ghetto that many suburban towns such as dear Tisdale dedicate to their chain restaurants and stores. Well lit by traffic lights and crowded with ample parking, it attracts the traffic of bored teenagers and young adults looking for cheap food. When we parked in a 7-11 lot I was prepared for some sort of humiliation inside the store, so was confused when we turned and started walking toward the sidewalk. A couple stayed behind, working on a piece of neon pink poster board stretched over the hood while Stephanie, Rikki, and some other girl joined us...she held a different piece of pink cardboard in her hand, carefully turned so I couldn't see it.

Stephanie, though, motioned me toward her and chatted amiably. "Now, Boybait, you're cute enough..for a freshman. I think. I'm no lesbo, though, so perhaps we need...a second opinion. Or a twentieth."

We reached the end of the sidewalk, and went to cross the street, stopping halfway across on a narrow traffic island. I was being backed up against a utility pole that stood at the end of an island in the divided highway. Signal lights surrounded the intersection that I stood about ten feet back of. Some old stickers and fliers rubbed against my back as I was pushed against the metal. And that's when the industrial-sized roll of cling wrap materialized in the hands of one of the girls.

"See, it's true. A cheerleader has to be cute," Stephanie continued, seemingly oblivious to the two laughing girls wrapping me against the pole in clear wrap, trapping my legs together and my arms at my sides. "Let's face it, nobody wants to watch a fat, ugly cheerleader. And we remember that, but sometimes our judgment is a" The girls were being sure to get the wrap flat against my chest, emphasizing what I possibly had there. "So we're leaving you here for an her, girls."

As the roll was finally torn off, leaving me immobilized against the pole, one girl produced a sign in big black block letters that read "Honk if you think I'm cute! THS Cheerleaders Rule!!" With that, the sign was taped above my head.

"Now, if you can't get 30 honks in 20 minutes, you're not cute enough. If you get under 20, well, you just don't cut it in any way Boybait...or should I say 'cute' it? Either way I say it, it's a long walk home. Somewhere in between you'll get a second chance...and some motivation. Have fun!" The girls laughed as they walked away, heading somewhere, who knows where, but close enough to listen in for the cars.

Had I wanted to, I couldn't even pose or flirt with the drivers...I was immobile. At best, I could offer a smile. At the first red light, an older man leaned forward, squinted, and shook his head. "Kids these days" I could imagine him saying. Next to him, I saw the first of many cell phone cameras that I would see. I smiled a bit, being rewarded by a honk as the light changed.

That was the pattern. Most traffic went by too fast to comprehend what was going on, but I'd started averaging one honk every light change by the lead car. College guys, high school people went along with it. Despite the eye rolling feminist or two I was up to 15 relatively quickly. I was relaxing a bit, raising my eyebrows and pursing my lips, and was on my way toward thirty with plenty of time. No problems. As a matter of fact, I had a good shot at--

"Well, what do we have here?" My blood turned cold as Lily and Paula rounded the pole into my vision. They didn't answer to those names -- "dayslave names" they called them. Oddly enough, as fellow unpopular people we'd managed to hang out a bit once I got used to overlooking their penchant for dressing in black and listening to horrific music. They took the vampire thing a little too seriously, but aside from their occasional persecution complex as the "loser kids", I kinda liked them.

But that was Kevin. Here I was as Kayci, a wannabe cheerleader. Their natural enemy.

We'll leave it there for now. Part IV soon. Here's a taste:

"Nothing like fresh air, huh?" Came Stephanie's voice, laughing. "Now follow us..." I was taken by the hand and brought upstairs into what certainly felt like a large room

"There are several of us in this room...