Sunday, July 31, 2011

Little girl, Big bear

Something submitted for your consideration. It's the time of year of carnivals, town affairs with brief fireworks shows, unsafe rides, scuzzy looking carnies, and midways. So, let's say one evening you're on the Midway and you see a teenaged girl walking down the midway, clutching an oversized stuffed animal. How did she get a hold of that stuffed animal?

Right -- someone, some boy, won it for her. Perhaps a father, more likely a boy somewhere on the spectrum of boyfriend-crush-"friend"-friend. But it doesn't dawn on you, or me, or anyone to think that she displayed the strength or skill to win it herself. Rather, she got it in a trade -- her affection and attention in return for this stuffed animal. And often t self-satisfied look on her face broadcasts her opinion that she got the better of the deal, in return for a fun toy and the effect of being marked as someone's girl who won it for her.

Yes, to be that girl...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


It was my fault. One day at lunch, between bites of the salad I was eating, I asked Master why he wore a ring on his middle finger. I should know by now better than asking him anything, as it just "inspires" him in a new direction.

The new direction in this case was going in a fully male ensemble, except the tight denim shorts, to Wal-Mart. Then spending 40 minutes picking out at least 6 girlish rings in my sizes. Then going home, and writing a story about each one -- who gave it to me, when/where, etc. One of the few parts of my body not trapped in feminine foolishness is now wrapped in cute little rings. The one with the heart-shaped pink rhinestone is "my favorite".

Sunday, July 24, 2011


One thing I never really considered is how much fashion trumps comfort for girls like me. I mean today dealing with temperature. It's perfectly normal to wear a mixture of cold- and hot-weather appropriate clothing based on fashion. For example, I spent a lot of wintertime in a puffy jacket. And often a short the jacket made me look tiny, and my legs were numb.

Or now, I'm in a short skirt and tank top that says "troublemaker" on the chest...appropriate for summer right? Well, yes, but not with the ballcap featuring a certain singer on my head purchased last month. Now, that doesn't seem fair, does it? And anytime I bring this up to Master, he calls it "whining".

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Movie wear

Summertime is upon us, so naturally Master has me going to every dumb teen movie in existence. He's even developed a package of movie wear meant to get me used to the experience. There's nothing obviously female because we don't want to cause a scene, but of course I wear a bra and panties for every movie. Since it's summertime, leggings are out, but the pale blue One-Star Converse shoes are in. I mean, men could wear them, but never would. They're usually paired with white socks.

My shirt changes, but is usually from a local all-girls high school bought online from sites such as these. I can settle in, barely male, to watch the latest stupid flick. Ah, movies.

Monday, July 18, 2011

In isolation

In a fit, I muttered something unkind about my current celebrity crush -- you know, the singer who looks like a girl. A stone-faced Master told me for that I'd be going into isolation.

I had trouble sleeping that night, not that I knew what isolation was. It just sounded bad. I clutched Spirit closer than usual, and jumped when the alarm went off.

The morning routine done, Master had me sit in a kitchen chair in the corner of the living room. My arms were tied to the arms of the chair. I was told to close my eyes. I did as told, only to hear the whispering of paper in the wind and feel something coming down on my head. Judging from the strap put around my chin, I can only guess it was an old football helmet. When Master told me to open my eyes, all I saw was my crush. Literally. Some hanger arrangement ensured that my entire field of vision was filled with him smiling at me in various poses and streetwear, including a shirtless picture. I couldn't move to take the contraption off, and it was secure enough that shaking my head did little.

I could only sit there, trapped, helpless, lost in the world of my crush all day. No break for lunch or bathroom...and eight hours later part of wondered if he really was my whole world...

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Blind taste

Master is on hyper-creativity these days it seems. He's desperate to drive home how helpless and silly I am. This time, in the kitchen.

Of course, I'm actually a decent cook, but Master ensures that I have...liabilities. Using this horrid, nasty kids' vegetarian cookbook, I've started preparing meals. But I have to do so in difficult ankles and wrists are chained loosely together, limiting my mobility. All liquids and spices are in interchangeable, opaque containers. So I don't know what I'm adding half the time, until the smell hits me. A girl as proud as me, though, won't admit it.

So for example tonight's dish was barbecued tofu, something disgusting in the best of times. Now imagine taking the ginger that often goes into this dish, and replacing it with ground mustard. Yup.

I'm starting to think it's a clever way to have me lose more weight.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

This is how it happened, honest...

A great (and appropriate) prank from Just for Laughs:

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Chat Roulette

It's gotten worse. Here I am, sitting in a chair at my computer. A body-hugging shirt declaring that "boys are my best subject" is underneath some dangling jewelry. A pigtailed wig frames a face with enough makeup, and not enough lighting. And I'm now going to go on ChatRoulette per Master's orders for the first time.

I have to stay on it until I either go 10 people without seeing any privates (not likely), or get someone to email me a poem they wrote for me. Sheesh.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

A recommendation

Somehow, I got this far without ever reading Bailey's stuff over at Fictionmania. There are themes in her stuff not too dissimilar from mine, but she has a much lighter touch. I'm settling in, enjoying the stuff she's done -- read her stuff and give a positive comment to a much better writer than me -- go check her stuff out.

Friday, July 8, 2011


I'm over 6,000 words into my latest fiction piece, and about a third of the way through. Anyone want to help edit? If so, please leave me a comment.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011


Master has contemplated lately that I'm simply not getting enough practice. Sure, when I go out in public, even those rare times I remain as the "real me", nobody treats me like a girl. So, Master's solution is that my "older sister", essentially the same personality but 19, should be on dating and chat sites. Master loves to look over the logs, point out what I should have said and how I could have said it differently. I've put a couple profiles together that show me in the best possible light, which isn't much, and basically "fast-forwarding" my personality to what I'd be like at 19. A sorority sister, barely passing in psychology, on the school cheer squad, etc. I don't think he intends to keep me stuck at this stage, but still.

Apparently for now I'm just practicing, but soon I'm going to have homework. How many email addresses and numbers can I get? Hopefully no meetings though!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy 4th of July

How lucky to live in a land dedicated to life, liberty, and the pursuit of boys!

Sunday, July 3, 2011


I've complained repeatedly about the trouble of having the long nails Master insists a girl "like me" should have. Well, I've found a new problem -- texting. Girls "like me" are expert texters, and Master expects the same from me. He's found some sort of game where he can pre-load statements, and it measures how fast I can type them in my phone. So now I'm spending large amounts of time typing things like "Cn u lemme brw ur pink shorts" Thxbi" over and over again. And somehow, the speed is never quite fast enough.

Friday, July 1, 2011


Realize it hasn't been a constant flow of posting, but this 'lil blog hit two years today. Thanks for all the readership and kind comments from my core people. Wouldn't mind seeing my casual readers speak up, but it's been great sharing thoughts with all of you. I don't have the attention span to write a long story much less novel, but these little slices of fantasy life are a good way for me to do. Thanks for joining me along the way.

There will be more posting this month ahead. Curiously, despite it being one of my lightest months in terms of posting, I had more visits in June 2011 than any previous month (still a fraction of what my "sisters" get). Be interesting to see if that continues.