Monday, October 31, 2011


Yeah, it was fun. Details to come.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Monday's Mantra.

With the ... influence ... of someone I know, I've adopted a mantra that I've been forced to memorize, and write in appropriate handwriting. A photo of my practice is below. And no comments on my outfit? What the heck?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Here it is

So guys I wanted to show you my costume. And I need some help making decisions.

I'm gonna be a clown!! Look at the piping, floppy bow and cute buttons and an adorable skirt. I love the tights that match too. It comes with these super cute glovey things, and I'm gonna wear a couple bracelets too. My nails are gonna be blue pink and yellow. There are little ties on the gloveys and on the tights too. One reason I love this costume is that something is constantly hitting my in surprising places, reminding me every second what a ridiculous outfit I have own. This is the super cute dress. It has little designs on the sleeves and I'm wearing my Chucks with colory laces like this too. You might be thinking boo there's no heel but look close...I sewed a little bell onto each lace. Tinkle tinkle! Every step makes noise.

You can see I'm doin a pink wig in pigtails and this really cute headband with the little hat (with another bell). I have a pink clown nose too (paint is drying on it) and these funny white glasses. The nose is kind of a pain even though it's cute because I have to breathe through my mouth when I wear it.

I wanna know what you think of a couple things. I'm thinkin of adding a pink petti under the skirt so it looks like this...

Also maybe wearing this necklace but it might be all too much you know...

And last I don't know whether to do like a message on the back in glitter ink like "clowns need luv 2" or sumthin. I did applique a pink and teal heart on thee back. I haven't decided on my makeup yet. Is it too kiddy to do like yellow eye shadow to go with, or just use cute makeup?

Last I got some leftovers. Matching yellow and blue ribbon. Spare netty stuff and things like that. Ideas??

Sunday, October 23, 2011


The costume will be 100% ready on Tuesday night. But I'll tell you this...nobody will be able to take me seriously when I have it on...

Thanks to Bekki for the recent comments.

Friday, October 21, 2011

My big sis

If you haven't already, say hi to Bekki. Sounds like a cute girl, but she's not...she's in a similar situation as me. In her words, "a sixteen year old girl who pretended to be a grown-up man until sir found out and fixed her for good."

Poor thing, but she gets to have a permit! Not fair!

Food for thought

Hey, so....

My costume is still being assembled, but it is going to be super cute and super girlie! One thing though -- the back is so far blank white.

I was thinking of ideas for signs I could tape onto it at times. Something that (not this directly) expresses the idea of "he's dressed like this, but people are free to humiliate him, take photos, and order him about" in a non-creepy way.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Tough cuteness

"Is it cute?" That's the first question. A hat, a purse, a shade of lipstick. Whatever it is, the first criterion about whether I'd like it is if it's cute. Not pretty, stylish, funny, etc. A girl like me wants to be cute.


But, and this is the thing that interests me still. I'm not a baby. I'm not playing Barbies. I'm older, wider, tougher. That is the balance a girl like me struggles to reach. Cute enough to fit in and get the attention I want, but tough enough to be grown up.

Take this example -- the Superman shirt. Let's face it, when a man wears a Superman shirt you think he's an a--hole. Because who really thinks they're as tough as someone who can stop a speeding bullet. Or maybe he's a comic book nerd. But not someone you admire.

But on a girl like me, it's cute. It's cute because the shirt is cut to stop right at my waist and hugs my body. So it's cute, but still tough. It's colorful and faded and so cute. And tough 'cuz it's superman. It's prefect.

Like me!

Sunday, October 16, 2011


I suppose I should have expected cheerleader to run away like that, but I don't know if I have the body for that. I have a few pounds to get rid of (to be generous). I never said I'd obey the votes, but some year soon hopefully I'll be slim enough to pull it off.

I'm working on the costume right soon. I'm making...modifications.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Sticky and tricky

False nails, that is. I end up with my fingers tacky and rough from the glue, and the nails not even straight! It's bad enough dealing with them once they're on, but getting them on is something worse still!

And the smell -- ugh!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Text to speech

So my keyboard disappeared today. Theft? Hardly. Instead, for any significant writing (emails, my computer diary, fanfic, etc.) I will now be using a text-to-speech program. This blog is an exception. The reason for this is Master has decreed that it will have more impact if I hear my expressions of love for Lip Smackers lip gloss in my own voice rather than simply writing it.

But of course there was a dirty trick up his sleeve. Master had me practice for three hours today, making my voice sound as vacuous and spacey as possible before I set up the software. Okay, he set it up for me. But when I did the thing where it got used to my voice, I had to sound as ditzy as possible. Which means to do any of my writing assignments, I not only have to talk, but sound completely spacey. He also did a couple "macros" or something that make me say extra things to make certain things appear. For instance:

What I sayWhat is typed
"That dot thingy".
"JB, he's so cute"Justin Bie ber

There are a few more, bu that's all that come to mind right now. Typing is hard!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Begging for help

Folks, as you all know Halloween is soon upon us. That night I will put on my costume (tell you what down the road), drive around Eastern New England, and ... I don't know.

More than any other night, this is the opportunity to put oneself out there, take chances, and have fun. I don't have any friends or relations who would participate in that with me. You're the only family "Ashlee" has, and I'm asking, even begging for your help in making it a night that's memorable. I would love to have someone accompany me, or even enter the same place as me, or even call ahead to set up a situation (I have ideas on that if I'm too vague here).

Even despite that, ideas for games to play? Ways to psyche myself up? Places to go where the "real me" will be humiliated, but safely? How to spend the night? What have you done or wish to do?

It's a great chance, and I don't want to waste it. Oh, and the 2,000 or so people who come here every month and never leave a comment, this is a great chance. If you want to email me, my address is Please, I'm asking for help.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Being awkward and ruling the mall

Interesting video trip to the mall here on YouTube. Awkward? Yes. Getting boys to do what you want? Yes.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

A site you must visit

Good people, a friend of mine from caption central -- Rachel's Haven -- has started putting some captions on her own blog. You are all urged to visit her at Courtney's Clean Caps right now. I like her sense of humor and some of her topics. It's worth a visit and I hope Courtney keeps producing such great stuff.

If anyone wonders why there aren't captions on my site...well, I don't want to make it harder to find good captions. Rachel's Haven is such a great place to find captions to fit all interests, and I have done a few dozen as "totalditz", and I'd rather put them all there than make people hunt around for captions on many different sites.

Sunday, October 2, 2011


Master's newest love are the "attitude glasses" from Claire's. These fake glasses are fashionable now I guess, everything from cat's eye to oversized. However, Master loves them because in addition to adding yet more girlish silliness to my face, there are still glass panes which distort things a bit in my vision, as well as framing everything in pink, white, or whatever color I have on.

Just when I think he's feminized every part of my routines, wardrobe, and/or self that he can, he find more.