Two questions sentences stand out:
"Want a candy little girl?" and
"What would you wear on a first date with a cute boy?"
See, I was very lucky to have somebody incredible (who I won't name because I don't know if she wants to be inundated with begging subs) helping me this year. By phone and email, she wrote a series of assignments I had to do in costume. I'd arrive at the place and open the email as she listened. I'd hang up, complete the assignment, and report.
Thus did I ask for makeup tips at a pharmacy, buy a pink notebook at Staples, and grab a nutritional chart at McDonald's (cashier told me I looked fresh in my outfit). The pharmacist told me I was doing fine the way I was dressed, and the guy at Staples tried so hard to pretend nothing was wrong.
As a finale, she had me walk into a quiet baseball diamond and earn my supper by answering questions, such as the five top celebrities, or what I would wear on such a date. For doing math too well, I wasn't allowed to eat at one point. The conversation ended with my accepting that I am her puppet, to do as she tells me. Very exciting -- something I've dreamed about for a while.
Sadly, she had to go, so I employed an old strategy. I stopped outside a different McDonald's and called...the set-up. Told her that some guy would be coming in ridiculous outfit, embarrass him, etc. So I did. I walked in, and the cashier, a woman in her late 20s dressed, would you believe it, in a clown costume, greeted me with a braying laugh, followed by the question "do you want a candy, little girl?" Her colleagues crowded around. One demanded a picture, when I said yes, she had me pose. They asked about my glued on nails, and whether I was wearing a thong to match the bra. Perfect. The best part were the two girls probably seniors in high school who were behind me in line watching, dressed in "I hate everything"costumes -- black hooded sweatshirts, white makeup, and scowls. I was a cuter girl than either of them. I nearly floated out of there.
In out last bit of chutzpah, I stopped at a park known as a gay pickup spot. I posed in the lights, balloons in hand, for several minutes. I don't know what I wanted to happen -- I was just high on adrenaline. The only thing that happened is got very cold very quickly, and got back in to head home.
Every Halloween is a bit better than the last. No, I didn't end up surrounded by college girls mocking me (though McDonald's was close) or have my first real kiss. But it was great, and there's a special someone who made it awesome. Thank you.