Thursday, November 1, 2012

Bust, almost busted

Despite the efforts of a good friend (who sadly lives far away), Halloween was a bust this year.  My original plan to change at a mall and walk out in costume were foiled by the fact that the mall was packed with kids on some sort of trick or treat thing.   No good there.  I did change in a JC Penney, and a couple people saw me and chuckled, but not much.

My friend called to an adult bookstore and tried to get me into a situation or two, but to no end.  I wnet in, he bade me to browse the merchandise.  I did, and left.  Nothing.

So I drove around a bit, and finally screwed up some courage.  I was going to bomb into Target then the seafood restaurant next door.  I was going to do this!!!!  Then I saw blue lights behind me.  Every crossdresser's nightmare, and it was happening to me.

Heart pounding, I eventually pulled over.  Trying desperately to figure out the problem.  The cops comes up to the window.  Asked how I was doing...I said I wasn't in the best place right now given how I was dressed.  Guy tells me "it's f--in Halloween.  I don't f--in care.  Now if it was three days later I'd be f---in freaked out."  Backup arrives.   The guy takes my license.  Comes back.  What was I doing there?  Where was I going?  "You seem nervous, what's the problem?"

I ask back "I was going to ask you the same thing...why did you pull me over?"

Only then did I find out I was going 7mph over the speed limit.  That's what I get for being an out of state driver.  The funny part is that he was so flustered -- so obviously flustered -- that he just handed back my license and bade me a good evening.

Funny looking back, but it knocked me for a loop.  So I drove meekly home.

Bleah.  *sniffle*

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My outfit

Here's my costume for tomorrow.  I'm going to be so cute!  I have a couple things in store -- and I don't know what they are -- to tell you about later.   I'm worried about those tall shoesies though...at least 3 inches.  Yiks!  But I'm super-proud of the gold anchor on the hat ... I did that myself with a needle, thread, and gold sequins.  Stories later.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Sailor girl

Well, the most important decision o the year if made.  I"m going to be a sailor girl for Halloween.  A dark blue dress with a cute rope belt, and I sewed a gold sequin anchor on the hat.  Little white gloves and dark blue heels, and I'm cute to go on Wednesday!!

But go where??


Sunday, October 14, 2012

So here's the deal

Well, I got that Care Bars costume.  It fits me...if I were half the size.  I may try to make a halter dress of pink crushed velvet to fill in the spaces that fabric, er, wouldn't cover.  The top would go over it, and it would be a two-piece.  Some white tights and a pink shoes (maybe) would finish the outfit.

I also got a sailor girl costume that I would just need to add another tier to the skirt for, as illustrated at the right.  I can't find navy blue shoes, but I could get little black ones.  It's just not quite the same.

Thoughts?


Saturday, September 29, 2012

So I've been thinking....

I linked to a cute dragon costume a while ago, but I'm having trouble finding it.

I'm also looking for a version of this costume I could fit into.  I may have to make parts of it, perhaps lengthen the skirt.  I like the fur and the pink.

Ideas?


Sunday, September 9, 2012

Dilemma

Stupid Halloween is on a stupid Wednesday this year.  do I go out on that night, or the Saturday before?   I go out that night, trick or treating is happening and it's really the day.  The Saturday before, people will be partying.  Say I go to a college in my costume (whatever that ends up being), that might be more fun than wandering around on a Wednesday.

Thoughts?

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Blonde moment

The following is all true, so is in italics.

So....I felt like a little more of the ol' humiliation this summer, so I walked into a Claire's - my favorite store - and told the cashier I needed help spending a certain amount of money as a consequence for coming in last in my fantasy football league.   And photographic evidence.

Sounds familiar?  Yeah, wait for it...

Fact is, I'd originally planned to go into a different one, but had a bad vibe when I tried.  So I decided to switch over to another one on the way home.  When I handed over the note, the cashier looked at me and said "were you the guy who was here last year?" 

I had been.  And had totally forgotten.

Long story short, I played it off, must have been someone else -- "I'm an only child" -- and we got to business.  She kindly declared it a waste of money, and photographed me in a vampire cape with an ear cuff, holding a doll, wearing fake glasses.  Mission completed for free.

Of course, now I feel like an idiot, and a manipulative one at that.   Should I have fessed up?

Saturday, September 1, 2012

First meeting

I've decided to write some fiction about what I'd love to happen if I met someone like-minded in my area.   Here is the opening...you tell me if I should go on.


"I'm, uh, kinda nervous."

Of course he was.  So was I.   We'd never done this sort of thing before.  He looked like me a bit, sitting in the washed light of an early afternoon Denny's.  Maybe a little more hair and waistline.

We'd found each other online, and danced for a while -- what did the other want...and not want?  After some cautious movement, we'd established that we were compatible.  Now we sat in a crap restaurant, getting ready for our "play date".  Jake wasn't a dom/me.  Nor was I.  However, I was able to give him a pretty good idea of what I wanted, and he told me what he wanted.   He was "younger" and wanted a diaper and to be made to play Barbies and all that.   I gave him what he wanted -- I think he didn't expect to be made to put on a Barbie wedding, but oh well.

But this isn't a story about that.  This is about what he did to me.  Per agreement, he departed with the room key.  I had put some choice selections from my wardrobe in there, and we had set up generally what the next two hours would be like.   I counted off twenty minutes, paid for lunch, and walked up the hallway to my room in the Quality Inn.

The door was ajar.  I pushed in, and heart pounding, closed it.   Jake would be back in a few minutes.  I walked into the bathroom and saw what had been chosen.  I nodded.  I"d dropped of a suitcase with selected items from my wardrobe, and looked down.   A pair of pink briefs with white stripes, and a bra to match.  A necklace with several charms on it that would jangle when I moved around, and strangest was a pink headband with a short string tied to it, the other end tied around a ruler.  I frowned at this, until I read the note.   "Put the headband on and kneel on the ruler." 

I put on the bra and panties, feeling vulnerable and underdressed, which was the point.  I put on my wig, carefully slipping the headband over.  Leaving my male clothing in the bathroom, I stepped into the main room and got down on my knees...and I learned Jake had some creativity in him.  For when I did kneel in the main room, I had to tuck my chin against my chest to do it, leaving my hunched over in a submissive pose.

As we'd discussed, I took the remote for the room tv and held it behind my back in both hands.  I wasn't about to let a stranger tie me up, but we'd agreed on some "honor bondage" to start off -- I would be in danger of breaking the scene if I let go of the remote control, so otherwise I was trapped.  And there I kneeled for who knows how long, until the door opened....

(Should I continue?)

ROAR.....hahaha.

Yes, I'm talking about costumes, as Halloween is approaching.   But when I think of costumes, the one on the right is awesome, and I'm going to over-analyze why.

First, a good costume gets attention.  This one does, with the shiny purple torso and sparkling wings and tutu.  Nice bright colors.  No skulking around in the shadows with this one.  This is the costume of someone who wants to be noticed.

Second, it's cumbersome like any good costume.  Having to worry about the wings and tail getting caught, maneuvering carefully.  The embarrassment of part getting caught in the door.   Arm warmers.  Hood.  Leg warmers.  All those spines.  Love it.

Most importantly, it is ridiculous.   I imagine in this photo shoot the model was trying to look as scary and angry as she could...and it looks absolutely ridiculous.  She's dressed up as a dangerous creature, a killer of legend, and just looks silly.  Wait -- think about it.  It's not as if she's "pretending" to try to be scary.  She's genuinely trying to seem fierce, but the outfit is SO ridiculous, it's impossible.  There is no way to take someone wearing this seriously.

A cumbersome costume that gets attention and makes you immediately dismissed once you are noticed.  This is definitely under my consideration for this year...even though it may not be entirely up to me.  But if I wear it, I'm am so getting my nails done.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Consider the dragon...

What qualities do you think of when you think of a dragon?   How do they look, how do they act?

No, this has a point.  You'll see....

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Loser

I am not feeling at my perkiest right now.  I think I've had some variation of this fantasy for 18 years now, and I've never gotten close.  Sure, a rare public encounter here and there on Halloween or some nerved-up night I'm feeling daring, but it is never beyond "ooh you're a guy in those clothes".  People online -- some very well-intentioned -- appear and disappear, and I've learned no truly satisfying correspondence goes beyond a month.  Contacts living in my area (New England) usually lose interet if I don't declare rhapsody at the privilege of sucking them off.

I've been going around in circles for more than half my lifetime and haven't gotten even a few minutes of what I dream of.  I write about it, caption it, try to force it on unsuspecting salespersons, dream about, buy clothing for it, sneak off for it, and nothing happens.  And ever has.  And since I'm not getting any younger, it probably never will (being 33 wanting to be 13 is okay I bet, but 63 isn't.)

I accept that this is a part of me that forever makes my life harder.  But right now I loathe it.  I hate this lack of satisfaction, this endless search for something that may not be there, that I may not have the courage to grasp, that I can't really express.  I'm going on hiatus for a couple weeks.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Haven't done this for a while...

Ask me anything!  Go ahead! Next week or so I will have Formspring installed, so hack away at the last "official" version of this feature.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sadly...

Steffi's excellent blog, which is one of my favorite places, has gone dark.  I hope she's okay, and have to take Steffie Marie's Captions go dark for the time being.  Hope my favorite redhead bounces back!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Some of you may like this

This is a recounting of an initiation the writer underwent.  This become like an obsession for me.  Photos and everything!

My favorite sentence is this:

We followed the requirements of how we were supposed to look. The paper gave us strict instructions. 
I love the desperation to belong that they weren't just passive victims, but active ones.  They did what a paper told them to do...love it!

Is my obsession with initiations annoying anyone yet?  :)

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Here's a tip

With so many cute trends out there, my little head doesn't always know what I should like, and what to wear.  Sure the magazines are great, but you know, it's not enough.

Here's one thing I do.

The other day I was in a park on a bench in my male guise.  I heard two women the next bench over:

"Look at that!  I can't believe they let her go out like that?"

"Like what?"

"Those shorts!  The pockets are hanging down and visible.  They are supposed to be that way!  That's horrible!"

If a woman like her doesn't like a trend, it must be cute.  I bought a similar pair of shorts the next day.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Random thought

We all know that web browsers target ads based on IP addresses and cookies.  If you're getting ads meant for women, it's that you browse like a woman.

But ads for birth control?  What exactly am I being told here?

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Hideout

"We're going to play a game", Master said.  Great.

I've learned that I lose any game we play, even if I win.   And so it was.  I was in male clothing aside from my VS Pink bra and panties.  He specified that particular store, which certainly didn't ease my worries, I'll tell you.

We arrived at the mall, and hung out a few stores down from Victoria's Secret.  He was waiting for something I could tell, but what?  Then he saw what he was looking for.

"See them?" he pointed, to a group of teenaged boys who had just sat on a bench across from the store.  "Know why  they're there?"

"Their girls are in the store?"

"No, silly pet. If their girls were in the store, they'd follow them in.   No, Victoria's Secret is a hideout.  When a girl is being chased by a guy in the mall she doesn't like, she can duck in there knowing he won't follow her in.  She can waste time looking at panties, keeping an eye on them, trying things on, until they leave.  It's like a safe zone."

I didn't like where this was  going...and I was right.

"You should get what that feels like, princess.  I want you to go into Victoria's Secret until they leave.  You must leave within three minutes of them moving on, or there will be consequences."

Trying to avoid flushing red, I walked into Victoria's Secret.  I rifled through the Pink section.  I'm not going to lie, I was shopping for myself although no observer would expect it.  I strolled over to the perfume section, telling a salesclerk I was "just looking" -- I'm not allowed to claim it's for a girlfriend or anything.  Then the bathrobes...

I had been to VS before and thought it was bad, dodging the women and girls who were wondering why the hell I might be in there.  But putting an accent on the humiliation was having to keep an eye on the gang out front, making sure I left at the right moment.  Balancing shopping, circulating, and keeping an eye on guys -- though for the wrong reasons -- made it quite the trip.

I left shortly after they did, releived and pleased.  But I found out from Master's face that I'd done something wrong.

I hadn't bought anything!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Learned awkwardness

I don't know how he's done it, but Master has taught some real awkwardness in certain situations.  I don't go snorkeling that often, so it doesn't come up then, but...

Every time I start to eat a popsicle or a banana, I blush.  And look around.  I can't help it.  Perhaps it's all the laughing he does whenever I do it, but I feel so self-conscious every time!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

300

Three hundred posts!   Thanks for all the commenters, for your support and encouragement.  And ideas.


I won't try to be bitter how much faster my caption blog is acquiring views than this one did, but deep down this blog is more fun.  Shh....

I just hope I can find enough material to make it to 500.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Mandatory wear

In these hot, hot days of summer, there's a new type of mandatory wear, it seems.  Since "girls like me" love to spend time at the beach or on the pool, I'm imitating them by spending a lot of time wandering around with the top of a two-piece on under my top.   Apparently this shows off my glamorous popular lifestyle, when even in summer skool I am ready to go swimming at a moment's notice.

The slight irritation of the tie is a constant reminder of this new indignity, and is just messing up my tanlines horribly....

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Summah Skool

So you might be wondering what summer school is like for me.  It's tough to describe the whole experience, but I'll give you the example of a math test.  Of course, I must have the "proper" wrong answers as detailed earlier, but that's not enough.

For a test, I'm sat at a table with the test paper, a clock, and a camera facing me.  And answering the problems is only half the test.  For instance, here are the instructions for a recent math test which I failed, of course...

"At the end of every row, check your hair and redo your lip gloss."
"At the end of the third row, erase all your answers and start over."
"Do no more than one problem a minute."
"Constantly play with your hair."
"Have the eraser partially chewed by the end of the test."
"Take off your bracelets, neatly stack them, and then put them back on a minute later.  Do this three times."
"Write a graffiti version of the sentence I -heart- Harry Sty les on the back of this test."
"Color in every zero."

And so on.  This is how a 20-question test takes me like 45 minutes!!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Paranoia

I swear Master does this on purpose.   I spend half my time online as the fake (male) me paranoically checking to make sure that I'm not sending an email from a girlie address, or commenting on something with my girlie disqus login, or the other dozen "real" identities I have online.   Like this one.   I hope I never slip...

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Song

Dug this up from some personal archives...my alternate lyrics for the song "B-tch" by Meredith Brooks.   For you young 'uns, look it up on the YouTube.   It's not a bad tune.

i failed my math test today
i try so hard but then i flunk it anyway
i was dreaming bout that sweetie there in front
and how much i so want him
and be his only girl...

i don't listen in my class
in english and lit i always come in last
but the boys here are so sweet and oh so hot
i want them all a lot

i'm only just as useful as
any airhead girl


 
Refrain:
i'm a ditz i'm an airhead
don't you listen to what i said
i'm a giggly little teen
just wanting to be seen
i don't know i don't think
my fave color is hot pink
and boys are my whole life, i'm too dumb for any school


 i only use short words,
i think newts are bugs and antelopes are birds
i'll never be somebody's lifeline for advice
or any decent help at all.

Better call another girl
Just let me kiss you through the night


REFRAIN

i failed first grade
couldn't paste,couldn't cut
the boy next to me did all my stuff

that's always it
i'm helpless without boys
i never get enough


REFRAIN

some girls think that i'm a fool
but all the boys say i'm really cool

i'm so dumb i'm so spacey
my tops are cute and they're lacey
i'm only good
as a fun toy
for one cute and yummy boy
at least i'll always have cheering

Friday, July 6, 2012

Who I should be

Master had me watch some videos from this squad called "omygirl".  If you google that and watch in on YouTube, you will see exactly who I should be fitting in with, right between "Laffy" and "Ditzy" -- I swear that's the name she uses!!

Monday, July 2, 2012

If you want to be cool...

...you should check out the caption site I'm co-building with Crow at Not2Brite Captions -- that's http://not2britecaps.blogspot.com   Leave comments and guidance and requests!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Posture

It was supposed to be a treat.  I'd been a real good girl lately, so Master took me out to Applebee's.  I had salad of course, but he even let me order for myself.  I was wearing a cute Aeropostale sweatshirt in this pretty blue, which was a color a girl "like me" would order but wasn't like pink or anything.  I was so happy, but then Master looked at me.

"I don't like the way you're sitting."

What was he talking about?  I was leaning back, feeling relaxed, until now.

"Your posture is too good.  Girls like you slouch.  I'll think of something to demonstrate."

Well he thought of something.  For the past few days I've had a small pilow duct taped to my back to get my used to the proper posture, slouching away.  My back killed after the movie I watched today, but as least Master smiled.   What else could a girl want?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Blog creation in progress...

On July 1st, an announcement about my caption blog will be on this website.  Hard at work on it until then!!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Help with an exam question?

An exam question from Master.  What do I do?

"Your cheer squad's colors are green and yellow.  Your crush's favorite color is red.   On Saturday you have a competition, and then you'll have a date with your crush right after.

What color do you paint your nails?"

This is SO hard, and I think it's a trick question.   Answers, readers?

Monday, June 18, 2012

Water?

So, I'm not the French Maid type, as you can see, but Master set up a fun game for me anyway.   See, it's the time of year for football minicamps, and wouldn't an aspiring cheerleader like me fit right in?  But what use am I except for eye candy, except---

Water.

So Master had set up a few of his football jerseys, different numbers all over the yard.  And it was very simple...he'd call out a number and I'd have to bring a glass of water to that jersey in the right order in enough time. 

Except two problems.   First, he'd recorded himself saying a bunch of numbers into an mp3 that was running in my headphones, so while he says "31, 10, 7" I hear from the mp3 "32, 9, 63" and it's tough to keep them straight!  Plus, every time I made a mistake, I got punished.

It starts bad enough, with me having to kneel on the grass in my cheer skirt saying "here you go, Hottie." every time.   But then my shoelaces were tied together, which slowed me down more.  And I had to avoid the footballs Master was throwing at me all the time, and one bottle wasn't sealed and I spilled and it was so horrible!

My place is so not on a football practice field!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Shopping Source

I'm going to share a great source with all my cheer friends here.... the store coachs_corner1 on eBay.   I don't want to drop in a link just in case, but if you look up that store, you'll find lots of good stuff.

I particularly like it for all the cheer stuff this online store sells.   Sure, you can get a shell or skirt done at a high cost, but with this store you get camp wear and stuff like that.   I'm sure it's overproduction (and some of it mis-spelled, like the "Redman" top or Pom-pons stuff), but it's still cool to have a "Such-and-such high school" jacket or campwear.  It feels more authentic than fake stuff that just says "Cheer!", or paying hundreds of dollars for one custom-made item.

You're welcome!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Walled

I was trying to help.   Master is doing some work on his basement, so I figured it would be a nice surprise if he came home and saw that some of his shelves had a little more work done on them then when he'd left.  I measured and sawed some pieces, and was making things better, honest!

But noooooo....Master said that girls "like me" are useless in construction, and I had to learn my place...but if I really wanted to be around the basement as he worked on it, he'd help for a while.   So I was to go to my room and change into my orange and white bikini....one of my older ones.

So I come downstairs in this cute bikini and flipflops, ready to help out.  Master tells me to stand against some wall with my back to it...and takes out the screwdriver!  Master literally drives these screws through each side of my stretched out swimsuit bottom into the wall, then does the same with the fabric of my top!   Now I'm pinned against the wall, unable to move, and have to watch him work for like hours!   It so uncomfortable standing there the whole time, kept prisoner by my swimsuit!

Worst of all, I know I'm going to have to find a replacement suit, and that won't be fun....

Friday, June 8, 2012

Cap Partner?

Hi folks.   For a while now, I've been capping, but not on a devoted caption blog.   This was for a certain reason -- I didn't like the idea of further fracturing TG blogs, and liked what Rachel's Haven does in keeping them in one place.  It's not pleasant trying to track all the cap blogs out there that are worth tracking, and I liked what RH offers as a central clearinghouse.

However, I've decided that there just isn't much of an audience for my interests on that site.   I could bury my captions right in the gallery, but wouldn't get much feedback or eyeballs, and that's what keeps me going as a creator (ahem * comments).  That's fine -- most people prefer something harsher with their captions, or more explicit, but not me.

Everyone wants to see captions, according to this poll, but it's pretty close between putting them here and elsewhere.   I have to say that I like the flow of this blog, and pulling in different things from here and there may interrupt it, so I lean toward developing a sister site just for captions.  Hence, I thought I'd start a cap site, but realize that I probably wouldn't have the output to justify it on my own.   I could swing some 2 or 3 captions a week, but that's a lot of time in-between. 

Thus with the interest I see in the polls, I'm going to invite anybody interested in being a partner on this new project to contact me.  A separate blogger blog, captions only, with a shared password.   It would work best if that person had similar or at least congruent interests as me, and could contribute about two captions a week near the themes found on this blog.  My email addy is at the top left if you'd care to contact me -- caption novices and experts welcome (anyone looking to change their situation).  For an idea of my work, here's a recent caption I did over at the Haven:

Monday, June 4, 2012

Growing up

People have asked in the wake of a recent post whether I will be "growing up" any time soon.   I see that my being stuck as a girl this age may be boring to others, and it's fair to wonder if it's boring to me.  It's a question I've dealt with before, and some of my enthusiasms "spill over" into things of more interest to older girls.

Here's the thing.   I would want to grow up once I'm done being 13.  And by "being 13" I mean having many of the experiences I have detailed here.  I started this blog because writing long fiction pieces wasn't my style, but I still liked to turn over these ideas and experiences in my mind.  This was a way to tease out new details and angles.

But where it falls apart is that it's all talk.  I've had people not show up for arranged meetings, and lots of people who want to make things explicit and don't "get" this idea.  Aside from a couple brief months of emails and one good Halloween being ordered about by phone, things have been stuck at the imagining sense for a while.  I would love to have any of this happen in real life.  Part of the reason I kept up this blog was to see if anyone was interested.  Nothin'.

See, maybe I'll be ready to grow up if I spend a day talking in such a fractured, silly way.   Maybe after a day studying the life of some pop star and being humiliated when not knowledgeable enough I'd move on.  A first kiss, either romantic or manipulated.  But that's all theoretical.  So I'm not going to "grow up" beyond being 13 because I haven't truly been 13 yet.  And sadly, I think things are likely stay that way.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Party girl

A while ago, some of you very funny readers left behind ideas for a perfect party for me.   Well, I had that party.

As you can see, many favors were put together by Master.   I wore that sash on the bottom.  You see that tiara on the left?  It lights up and it was on my head all day.  The wand?  Tied to my fingers with ribbon superglued to the handle...my left hand was useless.  For much of the day, freedom to use my right arm  was cramped by the fact that I had three balloons, one with the face of a certain celebrity on it, tied to the wrist.  Each cheek sported a "temporary tattoo" that is still on a day later (see the package center left).  I could still use my weaker hand, but the balloons kept bobbing around to my annoyance.  Typing was next to impossible

The cupcakes were my birthday "cake" on which were placed the candles -- have to watch my figure you know!   It was served on the places and napkins you see there.  For fun?   The lifesize poster of a certain someone was the backdrop for a certain version of put the lipprint on the lips.   Should I be proud that I was really good at that?


Oh, the presents were nice...cute clothes I had to model, a couple downloads I had to listen to, things like that.   So, "thanks" for all your suggestions...hope you're happy now!

(Reality note:   There's no Master of course, but all the above was true.   Happy now?   And no, you don't get pics.)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Weird hands

So, Master got me a new watch.   Sure it's cute an everything with the boys from On e Direction, but look at it...there's a problem.   Can you tell what it is?

It has hands!  Of course, a girl "like me" struggles with watches with hands, especially as Master moves it around like very day, so it's always a bit fast or slow.  He loves to ask me the time, and when I say "4:30" he says "no, sweetie, it's 4:10...you must be reading your watch wrong."

Yesterday, I had to arrive by 5:30, but I was ten minutes late because of the stupid watch, so he locked me outside for twenty minutes to teach me a lesson about being on time!   He lives in a quiet neighborhood, but it still was lousy (and cold) waiting there because of the dumb watch in my lil short shorts and cute top.   What's wrong with like a modern one?

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Losers!

Master just showed me some stupid video that's supposed to be making fun of On e Direction!  I'm not gonna put in a link because it's so stupid, and the people who did are so obvs jealous of a great band.  They are major talented and so the cutest band ever (I get to say that b/c Justin Bi ber is not a band but a singer :)   )   I've loved On e Direction for like ever....stop making fun of good bands!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Very important post

I want to take a second to talk about a very, very important subject: cheer uniforms.  One of the hardest things to decide is what should be on the shell (that's the top).  I could talk about colors or patterns, but today I'm going to focus on the single most important thing....the words or letters.

The name on the shell tells everyone where you're from and who you support.  So it's the most important thing, and there are so many choices.  There are three ways to do this:

1.  The dorkiest is your school initials.   Hello?  Unless someone is like an initial genius, that doesn't tell them anything.  Where is "MCHS" or "RWMS"?   Wow, we love our school with their dumb teachers and boring homework.  No.   Only thing worse than TYLVHS is one single dumb letter.  Like "M".   Um, goooo M?  Doesn't work, and initials don't either.  Sorry, Glee girls!

2.  Just a little less dorky is the name of the place.  Like "Trinity" for "Trinity High" or sometimes just the town's name.  That's still kind of dorky, though.  I mean, it's not like you're cheering for the parks and churches in Choctaw or Naclsey.  It seems kinda desperate, but not like "classroom study hall" desperate like school initials.  The only exception is if the shell has a cute nickname for the town, cause that's kinda fun.  I mean like just "Valley" for "Monument Valley", or "North" for "North Brookhaven".  The pawprint for the O is so cute!

3. Coolest is the team's name.  Not like "Apex" or "Spirit" or some stupid made-up nickname for a competitive cheer squad.  I mean the name of the team you cheer for, the actual cuties you get the crowd fired up for.  That's would should be on your shell...Knights or Lions or Warriors.  Bonus super points if you have a cute nickname for the team...everyone can tell what team you like, and how you really like them!  Like Bucanners to Bucs.  And yeah I think pawprints are cute, so what :)

Sometimes you can put a little thing on the hem of the skirt, or a letter behind the team's name that says where they're from, but be careful.  That can get ugly quick and what's the point of an ugly cheerleader???

I have other posts coming, but putting this together was really had.  So I will stop now.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Bad Direction

Well, I'll never ease up on my pop culture radar again.   The latest band on the scene, reminiscent of Backstreet Boys, is called On e Direction.   Apparently, they're well known and I should have picked up on them, as they are the latest new thing.

Master was rather upset when a casual question uncovered my ignorance, and consequences were swift.   Being tied to a chair and hearing their smash hit literally fifty consecutive times through the headphones on my ears was somewhat retribution, somewhat habit.   Often, I'll have to listen to a song like that 5 times running at least right before bed, to make sure it's running through my head.  The true consequence came via video -- I've been forced to study it intently and then be able to act out the part of the girl during the song.   Of course, Master has thoroughly critiqued me....plus, it took two malls before I found just the right bracelets for wardrobe.  But they are cute!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

C-c-c-c-cooold

Well, my jeans disappeared today!  Even the cute ones with the flatters on the legs and the little rips at the knees!  Gone!  Stupid Master says it's too nice out to wear them, and it's miniskirts and shorts for the rest of the year...no matter what the weather is!

That's so lousy and unfair.   I'm glad I still have my big comfy sweatshirts, but my toesies are so cold in my flipflops!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Squinty

Naturally, slave to fashion that I am, I have adopted those oversized aviator sunglasses which are SO the rage.  I have several pairs that go with different outfits, and I wear sunglasses all the time while outside.

While, Master played a dirty trick on me.   Some time, he took some sort of paint or something and painted over some of my glasses making it hard to see through them.  I feel like such a dork when I hang out with him, and can't find my way around...I look like a total nerd.  Plus, a couple of them are almost like blindfolds, so when Master gives me something to read outside, I have to tell him I can't read it.   Not cool!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Should I grow up?

Master and I were talking the other idea, and the idea of "growing up" arose. I have my own thoughts...but what do you think? Should I be kept at a silly 13, or be allowed to mature a little bit?

Monday, May 7, 2012

A mess?

"This place is a mess!" Master said the other day. Well, yes, my bedroom is. Master likes me to keep my room somewhat messy, befitting a girl "like me". It amuses him to see me picking through cute clothing and shoes, and need ten minutes to find the purse I'm looking for. So why is it all of a sudden a problem?

Well, because Master is devious. And I was going to learn a lesson whether I needed to learn a lesson or not...

Thus two days later I was wearing flip flops, short shorts, and a raceback tank with a cartoon Earth on the chest over the legend "love your mother", in addition to be usually array of jewelry. Master handed me a shopping bag, and instructed that I was not to return to the car until it was "absolutely full" of trash I'd picked up form the beach. Happy, silly Earth girl that I am, I wandered around ,harvesting washed-up trash and abandoned food wrappers, pushing the hair out of my eyes the whole time. It was bad enough to keep an eye out for early beachgoers, and hear my slapping shoes as I walked through the sand. Eventually I filled the bag.

Did I learn my lesson? Well, Master doesn't like the idea of me learning too much, so I'll say "maybe".

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Baseball

I was desperate to see my Red Sox in action.  With the sports channels on my tv locked out, and my surfing carefully monitored, and my finances under so much scrutiny I couldn't buy a newspaper, I had almost no idea how they were doing.  I could on occasion listen to sports talk on the radio, but that was a risk right there...what if I forgot to turn the station on my shower radio back?

So I ended up making a deal with Master, one I figured would be pretty easy.  I'd have four chance to hit a ball he slow-pitched far enough to run around the bases to third base before he tracked down the ball and tagged me.   If I made it, I'd be allowed to watch one whole Red Sox game.  If not, well, there'd be some sort of penalty.  So what?  The odds were in my favor.

Until that morning.   I imagine you can expect what happened.  I was put in a pink and white Sox jersey and cap...no surprise there.   I wasn't much surprised to be put in a longish skirt, and have wedge sandals in an effort to slow me down.   Even despite that, I figured I had a chance.   Thus did we drive to the local diamond on a quiet night.  Master grabbed a couple things as we got out of the car...and that's when things went south.

"Here you go", he said, handing me a lightweight pink tee ball bat! It wasn't even three feet tall, and an oversized pink matching softball!   I'd be lucky to make it out of the infield!   Worst of all, he dropped a framed photo from my room of a certain singer on the line between second and first base.   It was explained that between pitches, I'd have to call time, and refresh my lip gloss which stuck absurdly out of a pocket.  And then, after rounding first, I'd have to pick up the photo, kiss it, and put it down gently enough that it didn't break!

So the first pitch I send out barely over second base, and as I'm rounding first, shuffling in my shin-length skirt, I get tagged.   A desperate bunt gets me to the picture, where I'm tagged as I picked it up.   My best shot, a looper over second base, got my through the kissing part before being tagged.  The last one , a dribbler back to Master, barely got me through first base.

Shuffling in my skirt, holding on to my tube of lip  gloss as hair flapped in front of my eyes made it clear that I had no business in any sport other than cheerleading.  I'm worried about the punishment I'm in for, not least of all because of what Master said...

"You know what I noticed?  You're a bad athlete, but sure know how to get  to first base."

Friday, May 4, 2012

Mustaches

I think Master loves the newest trend..mustaches.

No, not trends for guys. Girls "like me" are into stupid jewelry with mustaches -- look at this whole category from Claire's. There's something horrible about the fact that I stay clean shaven from head to toe for master, but have this little mustache necklace hanging around my neck. At least I don't have the wallet, or the wall hanging (not much room on my wall, anyway). I do wear the little plastic ring. Oh well, at least I can have facial hair somehow, right?

Right?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Sorry

A bit of a lull, a periodic one that seems to occur. Expect blogging to recommence shortly.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Tricked!

For the past month I've been making myself eat nasty Brussels Sprouts. They are some of the ickiest food ever invented...they feel horribly in my mouth, they taste horrible, and they smell rotten. The only reason I ate them is that Master told me that he saw that they were Justin Bie ber's favorite food. so like any good fan I made myself eat them.

Then in one of my magazines I read it's actually spaghetti! I ate all this nasty food because MAster lied to me! I'm totally not speaking to him right now.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

In-vest-ing in cute clothes

Few items make me feel more of a girl than a vest. It's because of what it does to you. Take a tight, white long-sleeved shirt or turtleneck, and put a vest over it, a nice fluffy bulky one. What happens? Your arms suddenly look slim and delicate. Girlish. It's a way to emphasize your girlishness by burying your torso in layers and having spindly arms and thin legs stick out. That's why I love in-vest-ing in cuteness lol!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Haterz

I'm doing somethin wrong Master told me today. I don't have any haterz. If you don't know, haterz are ppl who create drama in your life and hate on everything you do. Jealous b*tches usually. Master says girls like me always have haterz because we're so cute and popular, so I need some too. He wants some idea soon -- do u have any suggestions?

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Guest Cap

If you like my few captions on this blog, check out the guest caption/a> I did on Courtney's Clean Caps.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Ears

One of the total funnest things in Spring is bunny ears! Not the little fingers behind someone's head in photos, but cute lil bunny ears that you wear! Master surprised me with some yesterday, and they look so cute. I had to totally redo my hair into a cute pony, but whatevs -- their so cute! I know I know some old boring people freak out because of the "message" or whatever, but I just think it's cute!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Collaboration

I'm feeling creatively antsy. I'll do the party when I get the chance and privacy, and same with what's in my bag. But I'm wondering if anyone wants to go for a creative collaboration. I"ve written some fun stuff in the past, and wonder if it would be fun to do another piece. Perhaps two perspectives on the same events -- big and lil sis, tormentor and tormentee, etc.... Comment or email with ideas.

One thing in particular I"d be interesting in developing is a G-rated "roulette" as one sees with sissy roulette. Think it would be fun for people like us...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Quiet

I'm out of ideas. I'm still setting up the birthday party for which a couple of you provided suggestions, but I don't have much more to write. A new story? New caption? I dunno...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Checking up on me

Of course, Master has a life, and can't spend every waking hour monitoring me (though there always seems to be that threat...how does he know what I'm up to all the time??). One thing he does do, though, is have me run this program to check on my browser history. It scans to see what the chances are of the user being male or female; anytime it comes under a 80% chance of me being a girl, I get in reel trouble.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Val Day

Hoping I get lots of valentines from cuties, and no scrubs lol!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

TV I Spy

Sometimes, to make sure I'm paying attention, Master has me play "I Spy" while watching some of my favorite shows. I have to write down when, where, and who I saw wearing certain things. This proves I'm paying attention. Like today's list was:

-A peace symbol
-More than three bracelets
-Jeans tucked into Uggs
-Long sleeves
-Stud earrings
-A scarf with some blue in it
-Painted nails

I had to watch lots of tv to find all this stuff! TV is hard!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Wow!

Thanks again and again to all the visitors, members, and sites that have linked to me. This month saw a huge growth in traffic, and I hope I can only find enough content to keep you coming back! Thank you, and please, please, email me or comment with ideas and reactions. That's what keeps the inspiration well fresh.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

'Tis the season

Like anybody else, I'm sorry to see Christmas go, but I have another reason.

The excess of pink associated with Valentine's Day. Of course, the "real me" loves pink, and have all these little things to reinforce that, not just the pants that say "PINK" across my butt.

Today was a fun one...do you know they have pink salt? I had no idea.

Do you know how long it takes to find the pink M&M in a large bag? Not that long.

Do you know how long it takes to find a grain of that pink salt in a shaker of white salt. Way longer.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Perfect Party

Master wants me to be a birthday princess. He says that every girl "like me" deserves to have one day where she's the princess of the world as she turns 13. He has more ideas but I'm not going to pass them on because we made a deal.

Master says he'll drop the idea. Unless...

Unless five different people comment on this blog for ideas about what would make for the perfect 13th birthday party for a girl like me. In terms of what I would wear, or do, or get, etc. The deal is if five people don't show up with ideas, I don't have to go through with it.

If five people do, then I have to go through with it, and document at least 3 of those things with photos on this blog.

So if you have ideas, keep them to yourself. Please? Thanks.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Reminder

Go to Rachel's Haven, the best single source for TG-related captions. There are tons of caption websites, too many for me to try to keep count, but that is the best place in terms of volume. I enjoy making captions from time to time, but I think there are already so many caption sites and blogs out there (Courtney, for example), I don't feel the need to crowd the marketplace.

I did get a request for more caps though, so below is one I whipped up lately. Enjoy!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Losers

One of the more embarrassing points of my wardrobe is how Master includes some athletic stuff (that's not cheerleading) in a way that isn't just feminine, but ignorant. "Officially", I'm not supposed to know better, but I do.

What do I mean? Well, I do own a couple athletic items, but they're girlish ones, for sure. Like this one:


And a hockey shirt:




See what's embarrassing? Do you? It's not just girlish athletic wear...it's not just teams from far out of town...it's teams that suck. The Bucs? The Ducks? Both basement-dwellers...not that I know that.

No, girls "like me" wouldn't realize that. No, I like these tops not because of the teams involved, but for only one reason. The same reason as always.

I wear it because it's cute.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

$72 Bie ber

To become a good little shopper, Master often has me get used to working with a budget. It's really hard, because it means I have to add and stuff! Thank goodness he lets me use a calculator!

Like yesterday I had to spend $63 on Bie ber stuff at Claire's. Like anyone can only spend that much at Claire's, on Bie ber especially! It took three hours, but I figured out how to do it:

Totally cute love note necklace: 10.50
Justin Cup: 7.50
Belieber necklace: 9.50
JB Watch: 8.50
Pillowcase: 14
Cute tote: 22

I'm such a good shopper!

Now it's ur turn! Come up with a dollar amount and a theme for me to spend, and help me become a better shopper!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Questions and suggestions

As 2012 opens, is there anything you'd like to see more of on this blog? Stories, comics, photos, what? I can't do it unless I know what you want.

Oh, and ask me anything.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Backing

"You okay?"

Those words always make me nervous. It's Master-code for "you did something wrong."

Saying no would mean that I knew something was wrong but didn't care, saying yes would mean I didn't realize something was wrong. Well, the word "no" is banned, and I tried my best to talk my way out of it.

"Why?"

"Are. You. Okay. ?"

"Umm....I dunno...I feel off...." I said, the voice rising into a question as I've learned.

"Perhaps you need this." And with that, Master held up an earring that must have fallen away from its magnetic backing at some point during the day. I did my best to seem contrite and horrified that I'd looked like such a dork, but there was no pleasing Master.

So today, I'm dressed in male clothing from head to toe, except for these earrings that got reactions all day, and laughs. As he says, perhaps next time I'll pay better attention to my appearance.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Yak More

A wannabe popular girl "like me" should be a lot of things I've learned. Master has worked hard to instruct me in so many of them -- obsessed with her appearance, cute, flirty, not too smart, a good cheerleader, a good dancer, etc.

Today, I learned of another: loud.

Master told me that I haven't been outgoing enough. Apparently, one way of attracting the right kind of attention (from cuties!) is to be loud. Loud in squealing with friends, loud in arguing that Justin Bie ber is the best singer ever. And I wasn't doing the job.

So he got this.

It's some stupid teacher thing that measures how loud it gets around it. And from now on, if I'm not loud enough to make it go red at least three times a day, I'm gonna get punished. 'Cuz why wouldn't a girl like me want the attention?

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Visit!

Finally posted a link to the site of my "older sister", Bekki on the sidebar. Visit her, would ya?

Monday, January 2, 2012

Till its empty

So I enjoyed a Shirley Temple with Master for New Year's Eve. I had on a pretty little black dress to celebrate the holiday, and it was very exciting!

Today I had to sit in Master's sun room and do one thing -- blow bubbles. As his camera automatically took photos, I had to blow bubbles in my little outfit until the whole bottle was gone -- two hours later!