Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Weird hands

So, Master got me a new watch.   Sure it's cute an everything with the boys from On e Direction, but look at it...there's a problem.   Can you tell what it is?

It has hands!  Of course, a girl "like me" struggles with watches with hands, especially as Master moves it around like very day, so it's always a bit fast or slow.  He loves to ask me the time, and when I say "4:30" he says "no, sweetie, it's 4:10...you must be reading your watch wrong."

Yesterday, I had to arrive by 5:30, but I was ten minutes late because of the stupid watch, so he locked me outside for twenty minutes to teach me a lesson about being on time!   He lives in a quiet neighborhood, but it still was lousy (and cold) waiting there because of the dumb watch in my lil short shorts and cute top.   What's wrong with like a modern one?

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Losers!

Master just showed me some stupid video that's supposed to be making fun of On e Direction!  I'm not gonna put in a link because it's so stupid, and the people who did are so obvs jealous of a great band.  They are major talented and so the cutest band ever (I get to say that b/c Justin Bi ber is not a band but a singer :)   )   I've loved On e Direction for like ever....stop making fun of good bands!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Very important post

I want to take a second to talk about a very, very important subject: cheer uniforms.  One of the hardest things to decide is what should be on the shell (that's the top).  I could talk about colors or patterns, but today I'm going to focus on the single most important thing....the words or letters.

The name on the shell tells everyone where you're from and who you support.  So it's the most important thing, and there are so many choices.  There are three ways to do this:

1.  The dorkiest is your school initials.   Hello?  Unless someone is like an initial genius, that doesn't tell them anything.  Where is "MCHS" or "RWMS"?   Wow, we love our school with their dumb teachers and boring homework.  No.   Only thing worse than TYLVHS is one single dumb letter.  Like "M".   Um, goooo M?  Doesn't work, and initials don't either.  Sorry, Glee girls!

2.  Just a little less dorky is the name of the place.  Like "Trinity" for "Trinity High" or sometimes just the town's name.  That's still kind of dorky, though.  I mean, it's not like you're cheering for the parks and churches in Choctaw or Naclsey.  It seems kinda desperate, but not like "classroom study hall" desperate like school initials.  The only exception is if the shell has a cute nickname for the town, cause that's kinda fun.  I mean like just "Valley" for "Monument Valley", or "North" for "North Brookhaven".  The pawprint for the O is so cute!

3. Coolest is the team's name.  Not like "Apex" or "Spirit" or some stupid made-up nickname for a competitive cheer squad.  I mean the name of the team you cheer for, the actual cuties you get the crowd fired up for.  That's would should be on your shell...Knights or Lions or Warriors.  Bonus super points if you have a cute nickname for the team...everyone can tell what team you like, and how you really like them!  Like Bucanners to Bucs.  And yeah I think pawprints are cute, so what :)

Sometimes you can put a little thing on the hem of the skirt, or a letter behind the team's name that says where they're from, but be careful.  That can get ugly quick and what's the point of an ugly cheerleader???

I have other posts coming, but putting this together was really had.  So I will stop now.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Bad Direction

Well, I'll never ease up on my pop culture radar again.   The latest band on the scene, reminiscent of Backstreet Boys, is called On e Direction.   Apparently, they're well known and I should have picked up on them, as they are the latest new thing.

Master was rather upset when a casual question uncovered my ignorance, and consequences were swift.   Being tied to a chair and hearing their smash hit literally fifty consecutive times through the headphones on my ears was somewhat retribution, somewhat habit.   Often, I'll have to listen to a song like that 5 times running at least right before bed, to make sure it's running through my head.  The true consequence came via video -- I've been forced to study it intently and then be able to act out the part of the girl during the song.   Of course, Master has thoroughly critiqued me....plus, it took two malls before I found just the right bracelets for wardrobe.  But they are cute!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

C-c-c-c-cooold

Well, my jeans disappeared today!  Even the cute ones with the flatters on the legs and the little rips at the knees!  Gone!  Stupid Master says it's too nice out to wear them, and it's miniskirts and shorts for the rest of the year...no matter what the weather is!

That's so lousy and unfair.   I'm glad I still have my big comfy sweatshirts, but my toesies are so cold in my flipflops!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Squinty

Naturally, slave to fashion that I am, I have adopted those oversized aviator sunglasses which are SO the rage.  I have several pairs that go with different outfits, and I wear sunglasses all the time while outside.

While, Master played a dirty trick on me.   Some time, he took some sort of paint or something and painted over some of my glasses making it hard to see through them.  I feel like such a dork when I hang out with him, and can't find my way around...I look like a total nerd.  Plus, a couple of them are almost like blindfolds, so when Master gives me something to read outside, I have to tell him I can't read it.   Not cool!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Should I grow up?

Master and I were talking the other idea, and the idea of "growing up" arose. I have my own thoughts...but what do you think? Should I be kept at a silly 13, or be allowed to mature a little bit?

Monday, May 7, 2012

A mess?

"This place is a mess!" Master said the other day. Well, yes, my bedroom is. Master likes me to keep my room somewhat messy, befitting a girl "like me". It amuses him to see me picking through cute clothing and shoes, and need ten minutes to find the purse I'm looking for. So why is it all of a sudden a problem?

Well, because Master is devious. And I was going to learn a lesson whether I needed to learn a lesson or not...

Thus two days later I was wearing flip flops, short shorts, and a raceback tank with a cartoon Earth on the chest over the legend "love your mother", in addition to be usually array of jewelry. Master handed me a shopping bag, and instructed that I was not to return to the car until it was "absolutely full" of trash I'd picked up form the beach. Happy, silly Earth girl that I am, I wandered around ,harvesting washed-up trash and abandoned food wrappers, pushing the hair out of my eyes the whole time. It was bad enough to keep an eye out for early beachgoers, and hear my slapping shoes as I walked through the sand. Eventually I filled the bag.

Did I learn my lesson? Well, Master doesn't like the idea of me learning too much, so I'll say "maybe".

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Baseball

I was desperate to see my Red Sox in action.  With the sports channels on my tv locked out, and my surfing carefully monitored, and my finances under so much scrutiny I couldn't buy a newspaper, I had almost no idea how they were doing.  I could on occasion listen to sports talk on the radio, but that was a risk right there...what if I forgot to turn the station on my shower radio back?

So I ended up making a deal with Master, one I figured would be pretty easy.  I'd have four chance to hit a ball he slow-pitched far enough to run around the bases to third base before he tracked down the ball and tagged me.   If I made it, I'd be allowed to watch one whole Red Sox game.  If not, well, there'd be some sort of penalty.  So what?  The odds were in my favor.

Until that morning.   I imagine you can expect what happened.  I was put in a pink and white Sox jersey and cap...no surprise there.   I wasn't much surprised to be put in a longish skirt, and have wedge sandals in an effort to slow me down.   Even despite that, I figured I had a chance.   Thus did we drive to the local diamond on a quiet night.  Master grabbed a couple things as we got out of the car...and that's when things went south.

"Here you go", he said, handing me a lightweight pink tee ball bat! It wasn't even three feet tall, and an oversized pink matching softball!   I'd be lucky to make it out of the infield!   Worst of all, he dropped a framed photo from my room of a certain singer on the line between second and first base.   It was explained that between pitches, I'd have to call time, and refresh my lip gloss which stuck absurdly out of a pocket.  And then, after rounding first, I'd have to pick up the photo, kiss it, and put it down gently enough that it didn't break!

So the first pitch I send out barely over second base, and as I'm rounding first, shuffling in my shin-length skirt, I get tagged.   A desperate bunt gets me to the picture, where I'm tagged as I picked it up.   My best shot, a looper over second base, got my through the kissing part before being tagged.  The last one , a dribbler back to Master, barely got me through first base.

Shuffling in my skirt, holding on to my tube of lip  gloss as hair flapped in front of my eyes made it clear that I had no business in any sport other than cheerleading.  I'm worried about the punishment I'm in for, not least of all because of what Master said...

"You know what I noticed?  You're a bad athlete, but sure know how to get  to first base."

Friday, May 4, 2012

Mustaches

I think Master loves the newest trend..mustaches.

No, not trends for guys. Girls "like me" are into stupid jewelry with mustaches -- look at this whole category from Claire's. There's something horrible about the fact that I stay clean shaven from head to toe for master, but have this little mustache necklace hanging around my neck. At least I don't have the wallet, or the wall hanging (not much room on my wall, anyway). I do wear the little plastic ring. Oh well, at least I can have facial hair somehow, right?

Right?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Sorry

A bit of a lull, a periodic one that seems to occur. Expect blogging to recommence shortly.