Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Consider the dragon...

What qualities do you think of when you think of a dragon?   How do they look, how do they act?

No, this has a point.  You'll see....

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


I am not feeling at my perkiest right now.  I think I've had some variation of this fantasy for 18 years now, and I've never gotten close.  Sure, a rare public encounter here and there on Halloween or some nerved-up night I'm feeling daring, but it is never beyond "ooh you're a guy in those clothes".  People online -- some very well-intentioned -- appear and disappear, and I've learned no truly satisfying correspondence goes beyond a month.  Contacts living in my area (New England) usually lose interet if I don't declare rhapsody at the privilege of sucking them off.

I've been going around in circles for more than half my lifetime and haven't gotten even a few minutes of what I dream of.  I write about it, caption it, try to force it on unsuspecting salespersons, dream about, buy clothing for it, sneak off for it, and nothing happens.  And ever has.  And since I'm not getting any younger, it probably never will (being 33 wanting to be 13 is okay I bet, but 63 isn't.)

I accept that this is a part of me that forever makes my life harder.  But right now I loathe it.  I hate this lack of satisfaction, this endless search for something that may not be there, that I may not have the courage to grasp, that I can't really express.  I'm going on hiatus for a couple weeks.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Haven't done this for a while...

Ask me anything!  Go ahead! Next week or so I will have Formspring installed, so hack away at the last "official" version of this feature.

Thursday, August 16, 2012


Steffi's excellent blog, which is one of my favorite places, has gone dark.  I hope she's okay, and have to take Steffie Marie's Captions go dark for the time being.  Hope my favorite redhead bounces back!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Some of you may like this

This is a recounting of an initiation the writer underwent.  This become like an obsession for me.  Photos and everything!

My favorite sentence is this:

We followed the requirements of how we were supposed to look. The paper gave us strict instructions. 
I love the desperation to belong that they weren't just passive victims, but active ones.  They did what a paper told them to it!

Is my obsession with initiations annoying anyone yet?  :)

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Here's a tip

With so many cute trends out there, my little head doesn't always know what I should like, and what to wear.  Sure the magazines are great, but you know, it's not enough.

Here's one thing I do.

The other day I was in a park on a bench in my male guise.  I heard two women the next bench over:

"Look at that!  I can't believe they let her go out like that?"

"Like what?"

"Those shorts!  The pockets are hanging down and visible.  They are supposed to be that way!  That's horrible!"

If a woman like her doesn't like a trend, it must be cute.  I bought a similar pair of shorts the next day.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Random thought

We all know that web browsers target ads based on IP addresses and cookies.  If you're getting ads meant for women, it's that you browse like a woman.

But ads for birth control?  What exactly am I being told here?

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


"We're going to play a game", Master said.  Great.

I've learned that I lose any game we play, even if I win.   And so it was.  I was in male clothing aside from my VS Pink bra and panties.  He specified that particular store, which certainly didn't ease my worries, I'll tell you.

We arrived at the mall, and hung out a few stores down from Victoria's Secret.  He was waiting for something I could tell, but what?  Then he saw what he was looking for.

"See them?" he pointed, to a group of teenaged boys who had just sat on a bench across from the store.  "Know why  they're there?"

"Their girls are in the store?"

"No, silly pet. If their girls were in the store, they'd follow them in.   No, Victoria's Secret is a hideout.  When a girl is being chased by a guy in the mall she doesn't like, she can duck in there knowing he won't follow her in.  She can waste time looking at panties, keeping an eye on them, trying things on, until they leave.  It's like a safe zone."

I didn't like where this was  going...and I was right.

"You should get what that feels like, princess.  I want you to go into Victoria's Secret until they leave.  You must leave within three minutes of them moving on, or there will be consequences."

Trying to avoid flushing red, I walked into Victoria's Secret.  I rifled through the Pink section.  I'm not going to lie, I was shopping for myself although no observer would expect it.  I strolled over to the perfume section, telling a salesclerk I was "just looking" -- I'm not allowed to claim it's for a girlfriend or anything.  Then the bathrobes...

I had been to VS before and thought it was bad, dodging the women and girls who were wondering why the hell I might be in there.  But putting an accent on the humiliation was having to keep an eye on the gang out front, making sure I left at the right moment.  Balancing shopping, circulating, and keeping an eye on guys -- though for the wrong reasons -- made it quite the trip.

I left shortly after they did, releived and pleased.  But I found out from Master's face that I'd done something wrong.

I hadn't bought anything!