Thursday, June 27, 2013

All the bad in one place

Wow, is there an industry devoted to making me miserable?  Seriously?  Is there some people who sit around and try to figure out what Master will buy to make my life horrid?

I ask because he came home with an new purchase the other day...the "One Direction" edition of Girl Talk.  Basically Girl Talk is truth or dare board game that costs $30.  Master says this is an "authentic" experience, because it includes dares that would be proposed to girls "like me".  Except now trivia questions about One Direction are added!  It's good practice, having to collect little items and dream about stupid things like going to a show in a stretch limo...then you get a Backstage Pass if you win!  Not a real one, obvs.

It's great little shopper training.

I don't really play against Master, as that would be beneath him.  Instead, I have so many turns to win, and punishments occur if I don't make his goal.  Like last time, I ended up with 10 temporary tattoos on my arms, back, and face showing my love for One Direction, and no way to remove them. That was a fun trip to the pharmacy...

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Spirit sleepwear

I did really bad.  I did not remember the names of 4 of the boys on the squad I cheer foir.  I don't mean just the numbers, I mean their names.  I felt I could die.  Thank goodness Master has realized that I need help.  Not just remember that -- girls like me are bad at math.  Just help in being more spirited.

Master suggested I go to you and ask for help designing some sleepwear that would make sure that it would seep in and keep me spirited.  See, I tried already.  I suggested a red tank top (team colors) and a white thought bubble on the front that read "dreaming of Tigers wins!!"

Master said that wasn't good enough.

Then, my face really red, I said how about a shirt that said on the back "Follow me to see the best football team ever, the Freshman Tigers!!"

He said that was closer.  If I had suggested best and cutest, maybe he'd have been happy.  But I didn't.

So now it's your turn readers...what should be written/drawn on what I wear?  If something really good is suggested, I may actually make it...and sleep in it!

Saturday, June 22, 2013


So, Master had had me busy lately "converting" my wardrobe.  What does that mean?

Well, in addition to wanting to be a veterinarian, cheerleader, and dancer, I "want" to be a fashion designer, and Master felt I should practice.  So what is happening is that I am spending a fair amount of time "converting" my masculine wardrobe to feminine.  My first attempts were crude, dying things pink.  I've gotten much better now.

I have several headbands made of former ties that look cute with certain outfits.  And I spent a couple hours yesterday taking an old softball league shirt I had, making it into a cutoff, cutting off the sleeves, and tying the shoulders with some cute contrasting fabric.

Next up, somehow turn my board shorts into short shorts...I'm thinking extended pocket liners?

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Nail polish "love"

Well, it's flip-flop season, and I need to find my "signature" color for my toesies which will spend much time out in the open.  I've already committed to my "WMYB" anklet that whacks my ankle every time I move, and Master told me I had to also pick out a cute color of nail polish for my toes all summer long.

It was very simple...I was dropped off at a drugstore and told to find a "cute" shade of pink...with the word "love" as part of the name.  So there I was, hovering in the makeup aisle like some sort of freak, looking at shade after shade.  No, I couldn't grab and go.  I had to stand there like a weirdo, examining several bottles.  It might have been ten minutes, but it felt like ten hours.  No, the "love& beauty" line at Forever21 doesn't count -- I asked Master.

After forever, I finally found a shade called "summer love", and this is where something horrible happened.  I put it down.  I put it down because it had a big purple element, and I didn't think it looked good.  (I thought the color called "First Date" was cute, know...)

I stayed because I didn't like my first possibility.  I took pride in having cute toes.  That will be painted in "dangerously in love".

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


One big part of my interests, and role playing, is the idea of competition.  A competition to see who can humiliate themselves more, or act in a girlier way.  Perhaps who can take a more convincing photo and post it online, or answer more questions about the group of the moment.  The "loser" has to undergo another trial to spur her on.  Whomever doesn't make the better poster has to hang it up in public.  Whomever makes the uglier outfit has to wear it, etc.

Now all I need is a judge and another "girl like me".

Needless torture

Well, it's June.  Which is always a tough moment for "girls like me".  After several months of gossip, cheer practice, shopping, and flirting...suddenly I'm supposed to be worried about school?  As in, all my friends might get promoted and I have to stay back and do the whole thing over again??

This means lots of extra credit.  After being punished for a while if I was too good at my school work, now I'm punished if I don't do tons of it.  It seems that Master is inventing new stuff every day for me to work on.  I was up until 2am last night working on some stupid report about, I don't know, plants or something.  And of course, I still ahve to answer all the texts and update my Instagram all the time.  So not fair!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Now he's just messing with me

Look at the top I got today from Master.   It's a blue crop top tee from abercrombie that says "brainiac" on it.  Am I supposed to wear it, or hide it?  It's cute, but the whole 'brainiac' thing is him so obviously making fun of me....  Would I be dorky to wear it, or kinda like just cute and makin fun of myself?

PS:  Justin Bieber duct tape?  Seriously?

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Proper Moods

Why couldn't some things just stay in the 70s?  I'm not talking crazy hair, disco, or bell bottoms -- though that's okay, too.  I'm talking mood rings.

I bought a mood ring under orders from Master the other day.  Of course, those things are fiction, and I would tell him that if I was allowed.  But gullibility is part of the package for girls like me, so I kept my mouth shut.  Unfortunately, now I am constantly checking my mood ring, because a happy, peppy girl like me could get in trouble if it reads any negative emotions.  School spirit doesn't mix with negativity, Master reminds me.  Boys don't like negative girls, either.

It's almost as if he's looking for another excuse to punish me...