Thursday, August 28, 2014


Okay, true that isn't a word Ashlee has any business knowing.

Nonetheless, I'm amused to see so many teenagers wearing shirts for RUN DMC, Naughty by Nature, or Notorious B.I.G.  I just can't believe these people, especially the girls have any idea who these people are, much less appreciate their work.  Just too funny.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Limiting your writing

I have the beginnings of about seven stories on a file right now.  I don't want to be one of those people who publishes half a story, then doesn't end it.  For instance I had in mind a simple enough story, and I'm on the eleventh page and am not even done with the first day.  And I can feel it slipping away from me; haven't touched it in a couple days.

So question 1 - authors, how do you keep a story under control, and not leaking into more detail and complexity?
2 - readers, would anyone want to skim/proof/edit/suggest based on my current piece?

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

A TG trope come to life

One of the greatest tropes of TG fiction is where the victim is away for a day or a weekend, and comes back and his masculine bedroom is suddenly awash in pink and white.  Just like that -- poof.   Well, these (Russian?) guys actually did that as a prank.  Pretty well done, I'd say.

I love the guy's ultimate reaction....

And another one:

Sunday, August 17, 2014

What happened

Per Susan Rhodes' request, I will transcribe a true account of some of what happened during my dominatrix appointment earlier this month.  This is long and wordy, so I understand if you'd want to skip.

The place was a slightly sketchy part of a city a distance from where I live and work.  I'd made the appointment online and had only communicated by email.  A short time before meeting, I received a text that my wife had seen an email I'd left open and knew about this and was furious.  For various reasons, I regarded that email as simple hazing.  Though the Domme did say she'd confused me with another client who uses the same name, I remain skeptical.  She did say that she was rather of the mind that her client had actually written the email, though -- I guess I can see that.

She was slight, curvaceous, and dressed in a tight and tasteful dress with notable heels.  Once a gentleman friend gave me the once-over and decided I was no threat, she asked for a few minutes to get ready.

I entered with a wide selection of my wardrobe, from undies on out (except one pair I'd left in the dryer, much to the surprise of an unenthusiastic but knowledgeable friend who discovered them).  The Domme selected a padded pink bra, pink panties, zebra-print tank top (through which the bra was a little visible), and a bright yellow miniskirt.  I did have sequined leopard-print shoes.  She chortled mightily at my selection of accessories in my purse, and finished with a couple necklaces and a couple rubber bracelets.

After I changed, the lady sat me down and did my makeup.  She'd ordered me to purchase appropriate foundation (which may have been a test of sorts?), then continued with eyeshadow, powder, lipgloss, and a wig.  She did a pretty good job, though I was a bit disappointed to see the standard stuff used rather than what I'd brought.  She used a better wig than I have, a blonde on that feel to my shoulder blades.  It was kept unstyled, and I'd spend a fair bit of time kind of hiding behind it over the next 90 or so minutes.

We then went into the dungeon.  She mentioned remembering that I liked bondage, which I affirmed.  She had me put my hands behind my back and started attaching some leather cuffs.  That didn't go well.  She couldn't find the keys for the metal cuffs.  So she settled on tying my hands.  Now, I have longer fingers, slim hands, and a lot of flexibility for someone my size.  It's successfully tie me up.  I'm pretty sure I could have gotten out of those in five minutes had I wanted.  But I played along.

Sure it was disappointing to have to play along, but so be it.  I was told to do standard domme things -- she had me practice my walk, and voice, and posture.  Her way was supportive and not critical, and frankly easily pleased.  I was hoping for sharper direction, more serious consequences, but didn't get it.  I guess I trusted her too much (or perhaps expected her to understand my desires too easily) and was left unsatisfied.

This was followed by retying my hands in front of me on a chair to practice my posture.  Domme did say at this point that my portrayal of a girl "my age" was done with a lot of fealty, so much that she laughed.  "You amused a Dominatrix," I remember her saying.  "That isn't easy."  With a slightly persistent interview, I confessed to my celebrity crush, leading to what she called one of her favorite moments.  I was instructed to write "future Mrs. xxxxxxx" ten times on paper.  She said she'd always wanted to have someone do this.  Indeed, she kept it as a souvenir.  She didn't mention my boyish handwriting once, though -- but it isn't easy to write while one's hands are tied.

While chatting, I did get a little annoyed with her lack of direction, so pushed it by untying my hands.  That didn't please her.  Good.  She retied them and had me get into a cage for more conversation.  I was penalized for using the word "exacting" by very very light swatting on my foot while in the cage.  While I was hoping this would introduce a more rigorous and demanding session -- was not to be.  I was released from the cage.  In one humorous moment when I was describing how I hated my parents, she asked if it was because they wouldn't let me shave my legs.  Touché.

This is when I started putting in requests.  I had two fantasies I'd long admired, that I shared.  One is to be blindfolded, dressed, then tied up.  Thus I don't know what I'm wearing until I can't release myself.  She indulged me, sort of.  It was a thrill to be pulling on leggings and a top without knowing which.  But then she took off my blindfold.  What?  I was wearing some colorful leggins under a denim miniskirt, and a tank top that showed my bra straps.  On it was the phrase "troublemaker".  Appropriate, she told me, given my penchant for untying myself.

Finally, I was tied to a chair, final knot hidden behind me.  She did use some lipstick on a second idea I'd had -- one I'm not ready to write down.  Nothing explicit, but nothing too banal either.  The use of the lipstick did ruin that top, by the way.

At the end of the session, we had a pleasant chat as I was going back into male mode, sans makeup (except for a bit of eyeshadow I discovered while in the car.)  We had a pleasant, intriguing conversation.  I'll cop to the fact that I didn't expect a dominatrix to use the word "transgressive" easily.  I won't repeat my last post by summarizing my thoughts or feelings on the issue.  It took me quite some time to decide to go this route -- having found no like-minded persons on this side of the Atlantic Ocean -- and it was an experience I'd always have wondered about had I not done it.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Professional help

Thanks for the kind support from my commentators.  So I did decide to pick up a couple threads going through my head.  I'll start with some truth from my real life.

I went to get professional help today.  No, not that kind.  I went to see a dominatrix.

Now, in some ways that's an admission of defeat to me -- a way of saying one has to pay for something one can't get socially.  But frankly after twenty years of interest and moderate attempts to find a sympathetic person in the same country as me going nowhere, I figured may as well do it at some point before I need to come in on a walker.

So I made arrangements, brought the fee and my wardrobe, and went.

I will admit my main fear was I'd deal with a black-clad yelling harpy straight out of Walmart who was using a friend's college picture.  Such was not the case.  The lady was sympathetic, supportive, patient, and non-judgmental.  She was an intelligent conversationalist, had some decent reference points that showed she pretty well understood my point of view.  She respected my limits, and I felt in the hands of a thoughtful, careful person the whole way through.  It was a surprisingly comfortable experience.


From my point of view, once you're earning a couple hundred or more dollars a session, you need to be prepared. I'd communicated my limits and likes and hopes to her, and it ran my blood cold to hear her say to herself "so what should we do with you..." while I was sitting there.  For that price, every moment should have a plan. If she'd invested 5% of her fee in props for this session we'd discussed a week in advance, it would have been even better.  Nor was I impressed that she couldn't find the handcuffs key and had to use rope instead.  I got out twice.

In fairness we all build fantasies up in our minds.  Once I repeated some hopes I'd mentioned, she picked up on them and somewhat made it part of the session -- but not as strictly as I expected.  There was something a bit unusual that I wanted to try at the end, and she generously accommodated me, even as time ran over.  So I gave her credit for that.

So for anyone reading this, a few suggestions:
-Be clear what you want.  Even if she is playing the "I'm the dominatrix, *I* decide what we do" thing, make it crystal.  She can't read your mind.  Then again, if she refuses to do what you want, that's a tough break.
-Mentally get yourself ready.  I didn't sleep well last night in anticipation, but I carefully ran through how I wanted to be part of this, helping make it a good session.
-Come in respectfully.  My dominatrix was a warm, interesting person, and we had an amiable conversation during the makeup removal stage (which used half a vat of cold cream -- long story).  Dommes are not prostitutes, and need to be treated well.

So I would advise people that a domme is not going to make your fantasies come vibrantly true, but if you've the money, time, and discretion, and no other options, it might be worth it.  When you do the math, it's about twice the rate of phone operators, and a lot more vivid an experience.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Mic check

I stopped posting here months ago.   I may have a couple ideas, stories, etc., built up since then...but is there any audience?  Comment and let me know.