Wednesday, September 30, 2015

You wouldn't believe....

Fact is, girls like me tend to sweat more than most girls for obvious reasons.  You know...just how we're wired.   So what?  Well, I'll tell you what.

Long after the fruity moisturizer, and sickly sweet boy wash has worn away from the wind...long after I've gotten used to the taste of my lip gloss...hours after I last sprayed my hair...I still have that florid bouquet amped up by my sweat keeping my threads cute and telling everyone with a nose that I am a complete girlie girl.   For all the talk of perfume or anything else, the one girlish scent that stays with me longest and post powerfully, believe it or not, is deodorant.  So anyone out there: put as much time into finding the right scent of girlie deodorant as anything else (this is my scent).   Your well-trained nose will thank me.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Some early possibilities

I do kinda wish I didn't get more feedback when I posed about ideas or options for Halloween. I'm messing around with some ideas, including...

1- Goldilocks. Upside:  Cute, bright colors, little skirt.   Girlish and definitely attention getting.  A known character.   Could haul around a little bear all night.  Downside:   not too much in the way of props.

2. Minnie Mouse. Upside: as bright and colorful as the other. Silly ears, drawn-on nose and whiskers. Skirt. Downside: Not as bright, with the black. Few recognizable props (mousetrap somehow? Cheese?)

 3 - Cheer bear.   Upside:  Pink, ridiculously girlish.   Ears, tail.  Downside: Need some hosiery.   Too obscure?

4 - Football player.   Upside: glittery.  Definitely embarrassing take on a male costume.   Brightly colored.  Downside: Not very 'typical'. 

I'm open to more tween/teen ideas.   Thanks for those who did offer suggestions.  Some were a bit adult sexy for me and my girlish side.  And plus, always looking for ideas about what to do that night somewhere in New England.

alarming stories

Master was telling me about a trick he used to play on another sub.   Seems that sub was really jumpy about buying stuff, and was whining a bit much about having to purchase a bra and panty set one day -- even though he was male!   Master went with him, not to the lingerie, section, to observe his discomfort.

Or so Master said.

Rather, Master quietly dropped one of those plastic tags in his subbie's pocket.  So just when the little idiot was sweating relief on his out of the department store with his new lingerie set..."BWOOP BWOOP BWOOP"  goes the alarm.  Now he has to stand there as some "little guy" to use Master's words, rushes over and paws through his purchase and compares it to the receipt.   Master loves to tell this story...and now I'm scared to go into large stores with him.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Catch and release

So last weekend, we played "catch and release". What is that? Great question. It's an evil version of tag. So master took me to a park some distance from where I live. I was wearing male clothing, and a pair of largish sunglasses that had been painted over, not quite blindfolding me but making my vision very poor. We got out of the car and took a bit of a walk..two guys....a couple regular guys talking on the trail. We walked for about half an hour. Then it was getting dark and we stopped. And this is what Master said: "Okay, let the games begin. Your job is simple....get back to the car. My job is simple...stop you." Now, mind you, I had no idea where the car was, so this was already unfair. "Here's the deal...I am going to try to stop you. Every time I can tag you, I get to do something to stop you...and then have to run back to the car. If you admit you can't get to the car, I win. If you get to the car, you get three days off. Deal?" Not that I had much of a choice. I said "Deal!" and with that, Master was gone. I started by going downhill as quietly as I could. Figured I had maybe one chance to get there before anything he did made it impossible. The park wasn't that large, and I have a decent sense of direction, and in any case I -- "Gotcha!" Not sure how Master moved that quietly, but he did. And he had something for me. "Put these on, hon," he said, handing me a pair of heels. Heels that he carefully locked on. "See you real soon!" And off he went. Now I was moving at a fraction of my earlier speed, clicking on the paved trail. I quickly moved off to the grass, slowing me down more. There was a glow over the horizon, likely a parking lot. I picked me way across, staying awfully quiet so he wouldn't hear me. "Oh, the silent treatment huh?" Master said, once again scaring the daylights out of me. "Well, let's try this..." and at that, two anklets with little bells were tied around my ankles. Now each step was slow, And noisy. Unsurprisingly, Master was back rather quickly. Frankly, I wasn't sure he'd gone to his car, but he did have something new in his hands. A small chain that connected my heels. "Back soon!" he whispered, before I could even admit I'd given up. Now it was just a matter of him enjoying my helplessness. I had a collar and kitty ears on, even a tail. My shorts were replaced by a pink miniskirt soon enough, and my shirt with a black tank top. "Does kitty admit she's helpless?" Master asked me, laughing as the moon came over the treeline. Yes Master. Helpless. As always.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Book club

Book club?  Me?

That's what I thought too.   Apparently, Master has decided I need to improve my game after having been stuck in 8th grade for three years straight (LOL).  So we got a sparkly notebook and sparkly pen.   And of course, my first book...

Boys R Us by Lisi Harrison

Part of t he description:

"Dylan Marvil: Is happy times ten to finally have a crush who's crushing back, especially since they luh-v all the same things: marshmallows, lip-kissing, and chugging Red Bull. Buuuuuuuuurrrrrrrp!

Kristen Gregory: Scored three goals on the soccer field last week-and Massie's crush . . . which earned her an ejection from her ex-BFF's heart. Can Massie forgive and forget, or is Kristen out of the game forever?"

Questions to consider include which outfit sounds cutest, which character sounds cutest.  As always, Master is somehow making me dumber while convincing me that I am trying to become smarter. 

Thursday, September 10, 2015

On the road...

Master is just os not fair!   Half the time we tells me I have to clean my room.  The other half the time I get in trouble for not keeping my room messy the way that "girls like me" do!   And then I got punished today for having my room too messy.  It's like he's never happy.

But the punishment was way too mean.    Master told me to get some skinny jeans and a polo shirt on, and do light makeup and hair in a ponytail.  Check.   Then about an hour before dawn, he tells me to put something else on, and ride with him in his van.   You will not believe what he had me do!

Master pulled his van along a road way and put one of those little bubble lights on his roof!  Then I had to put on two gloves, and a bright yellow vest with "Winslow Co. Juvenile Probate" on the back in huge letters...and pick up the trash on the road!!   So many people musta stared at me, thinking I was some bad girl trying to avoid juvie!  SO humiliating!!

I don't know what would have happened if a real cop had come by.  That's probably why Master told me to get back in after thirty minutes.  Then he asked if I'd learned my lesson about being messy!

Monday, September 7, 2015

Lil bunny

A wild rabbit lives somewhere in Master's backyard.   So what you say?   That was my one time.   Of course, the "real me" is less blase, but loves adorable (adorbs) lil bunnies.  Actually, the 'real me' is rather taken with Mr. Whiskers (I know), and has a couple carrots in the fridge anytime I should see him.   And heaven help me if Master spots him before I do, as that's another demerit.

In any case, once Mr. Whiskers makes an appearance, I am to run to the fridge, grab the carrot, and carefully go down to my haunches, offering the rabbit the carrot.   I call him naturally "come here Mr. Whiskers...look at these yummy carrots!" and so forth.   I'm told this will end once I pet Mr. Whiskers (and probably get bitten in response), but until then Master is building up even more photos for his album.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Make em quit

Step right up, step right up for another round of "Make 'em Quit!!"  The game show where some poor well-meaning guy is driven to quit tutoring because of the endless confusion and foolishness of one rather slow student!

That's right, with online tutoring exploding, Master signed me up, with one goal.  Be so slow, confused, distracted that the tutor gives up on me.  Do you know how humiliating it is?   Of course, he game me some tips, so here I am blathering on about some guy in class while not understanding simple division.   Soon, Master says we'll start keeping score, so I better be completely, off my game.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

You know what's coming....

Regular readers know that I love Halloween as a chance to be in public in a ridiculously girlie outfit.   I've detailed the last several Halloweens below, what I did and experienced -- check 'em out.

To review, I've been many a thing over previous years, along with links to the entries about each humiliating experience for the three most recent ones:

2014-  Alice in Wonderland (Part I, Part II)
2013 - Sailor girl
2012 - Girlie clown
2011 - Pink and black devil girl
2010 - Honey bee
2009 - Strawberry Shortcake

Of course, this year is  a 2fer- it's Halloween and a Saturday!   I have some ideas, but would love to hear what you think I should go as, and what I should do.  I have some basic ideas that make a costume good:
  • A costume that was girlish and what I call insignificant. "Insignificant" not in terms of the fabric used, but rather in the message it sends that I'm just a silly little girl, not important. Bonus if it is a pink/sparkly take on something usually manly (why the pink devil girl was a good choice).
  • The idea of having to obsess about the state of my clothing with props and elements to constantly be adjusting and trying to control.
  • Something that will garner attention, either through color, light, noise, what have you.
So what should I wear?  What should I do?  Leave your ideas in the comments below!