Saturday, March 26, 2016
Half a loaf, or how to fake domming
The old maxim goes "better half a loaf is better than none". In other words, better to get some of what you want rather than nothing at all. Along with an adequate ability to keep perspective in life, it's a good way to get by. So I bring it up today because in the world would-be submissives are far more common than domm/es. Those who prefer to dominate have their pick, and can afford to demand near bespoke scenarios, leaving any of us with unusual or narrow tastes on our own. The solution, as I've mooted before, is to me obvious: a collaborative situation where people take turns dommeing. Find a story frame where you can be the horny coed and I can be the desperate house wife, and take turns. I domme you as the fraternity brother, and you domme me as the police officer, or whatever is your fantasy. And when I propose this, I hear the same thing: "ooohh, I'm really subbie." And frankly, so am I. But there's a solution for that: faking it. Below you will find some of my tips for fake dominating so you can establish that great rapport and help someone's fantasy so you can enjoy yours: 1 - Listen. Most every submissive knows what they want, often in deep detail. If given a chance, they may give you almost a script to follow. Here's the deal -- *follow that script*. If there is a place for improvisation, try it. However, if they say "I really want to get a tattoo on my lower back I can't see" then you're an ass if you don't include a scene like that. You don't know what's important to someone, so hit their request list from a to z. This also means to listen while playing. If they ask twice "you aren't going to dye my hair, are you?" then dye the damn hair. Now, maybe you were going to, but they're being impatient. Tell them they'll get their turn. If you get one word answers, chances are what you're doing isn't working. But that's okay -- there's a solution for that, too. The solution is to... 2 - Ask questions. Beforehand. Ask open-ended questions. "What is your character like?" "What is your favorite situation?" "Do you have anything unusual that really gets you excited?" Subs can be embarrassed or inarticulate. If you want to do them right, you need to ask them questions, preferably open-ended. This includes during your play. IF you're not asking every thirty minutes if things are good, you're letting them down. If they seem uninterested, ask why. Your fun will be as good as you make theirs. 3 - Watch what they do. Sometimes it feels like things are strangely off-track. You didn't ask to be insulted, and they're calling you slut every other line. Not what you wanted. Chances are this well-meaning person likes this, and figures you will, too. If something appears to be coming out of left-field, it's because they are trying hard, and going into their own storeroom. Don't make the mistake of dismissing it. When it's your turn, do what they did to you that you didn't request. They're probably trying to give you what they want, filling in any spaces with their own imagination. Without directly copying it, perhaps you could give it back to them? 4 - Do to them what you'd want done to you in that situation. Plumb out of ideas? No way to get started? Well, imagine that you are in that situation, at least the parts that you would like. Maybe you don't "get" the beauty salon thing (which I don't...), but you do get bdsm. Well start off by cuffing her to the beauty salon chair. If she doesn't want that hopefully she'll tell you. Frame the action, and let her fill in the details. If you've worked out a rapport that lets you and her ask questions, she'll help you bring her to where she wants to be. 5 - Be patient but confident. You're out of your typical style. Give yourself time, as you're giving the partner time to get used to it, right? But no matter what, chances are your best line is better than nothing. The number of decent roleplays I've had suddenly stop when someone says "I don't know what to do I'm sorry :/" and then log off is amazing. Let's be honest -- a sucky roleplay is usually better than staring at a blank screen. Remember, half a loaf is better than none.