Sunday, October 23, 2016

Thank you and good-bye

This is the 437th and last post of this blog.  I started this blog over seven years ago to tell a story.  The story of my fantasy life, of being subject (with my permission) to clever, insidious constraints on my behavior that would push toward the stereotypical behavior of a girl.   I learned long ago that I cannot write fiction with any length as I don't have the patience to include necessary details, so this blog was launched to provide ongoing short fiction of that vein.

Some posts have been successful, some not as much.  I have been contacted by an occasional person who used some of my ideas on themselves, or on a person they were in relationship with who had similar interests.  This blog also was the way that I heard from a couple people who had varying levels of interest in having me play out those ideas.  Sure, there was a hope that someone could see these stories as the basis of contacting me to really get into this lifestyle, but it never happened.  There were a couple abortive attempts to start something, but a lot of people chickened out.  Fact is, unless this is very thin window dressing for homosexual behavior, most people aren't interested. (It always confused me to contact people who called themselves cross-dressers but wanted to be naked all the time.  It's no problem that you're gay or bisexual, accept it.)   At times, I detailed some real-life experiences, particularly on Halloween.  I loved the ridiculous, needlessly elaborate and quietly degrading costumes available at the time.  For years, I'd go out in public in costume.

Well, it says something I'm not dressing up for Halloween this year.  I've aged out of being able to live this fantasy with any shadow of plausibility.  I'm even too old to credibly claim my social circle makes some of these wagers.   My professional and personal lives are less and less compatible.   I haven't posted here for months.

Most blogs die quietly, without an end.   Something in me doesn't want that to happen.  The phase of my life that this blog represents and aspired to is at its end, so this blog is, too.  I've met some wonderful people, read some thrilling writing in the occasional comment.  Some good memories will push me to keep this blog up for now.  I'm still alive; that email address still works.  But these are my last words here.

I'll finish with this.  It amuses me to remember of the number of stories I read with the same plot -- boy dresses as a girl, evidence is procured, and threats to put it online compels him to go deeper into that hole under the guidance of his tormentor.  Today?  Plenty of guys are pursuing gender fluidity, and even those that crossdress on a dare or as a joke put it online.  Fortunate are so many children dealing with what I dealt with as a child -- our world is more accepting.  I hope it keeps embracing all, more so by the day.


  1. Best wishes to you. and that you have the best future wherever it leads you.

  2. Hi Ash,
    Thank you for your blog and the ideas / fun (and often very un-girly bulges) that it has given me. i can honestly say that i have thoroughly enjoyed your blog and i have read every post.

    i understand about the time you get to in your personal life where the "girly" life is no longer a plausible reality. i suppose real girls go through this too when they stop wearing mini-skirts and have their cut as they grow older.

    it is a shame that you are closing this and i do hope that you do not delete it as you may inspire others who feel the similar way to us.

    i have not posted very much on my blog for the past year or so. i just don't really have much to say.

    best wishes for the future


  3. I've also enjoyed reading this blog and I can certainly understand you wanting to close it down. I appreciate that you told us that you are doing so, and give us some much needed closure that many sites do not. They just seem to vanish, or are completely abandoned.

    Good to see that you are still making captions though and I enjoy interacting with you. Hope you can visit my blog sometime.

    Also, I know there is also a few places in Massachusetts and surrounding areas that could give you that feminization - cross-dressing experience. I hope that someday you'll have a good time living out the dream in a controlled environment like that. Just looking quickly, I saw a place called My Dressing Room near Logan, and another is Glamour Boutique which has a physical store in Auburn where someone does transformations too.

  4. Thank you so much for writing...take care! i'll miss checking in from time to time... you did great! A (true!) cd, lol, ~sara